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![]() | Home > Off Topic > Forum humour !!! (Some Jokes May Offend) |
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Andy131 Member Since: 09 Dec 2009 Location: Manchester Posts: 2187 ![]() ![]() |
Not going to get any better when they release hundreds of prisoners early, some of who will have nowhere to go to. Tangiers Orange - gone, missing her
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Jimboland Member Since: 06 Dec 2015 Location: Northants Posts: 746 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Although the Olympics are over you can still buy most of the merchandising stuff. A man told his wife that he had got some Olympic condoms and they were made in Gold, Silver and Bronze and said I think we should try Gold tonight. She replied, why don't you try Silver and cum second for a change?
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Lightwater Member Since: 21 Aug 2014 Location: Sydney Northern Beaches Posts: 4921 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire. "Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go...?" "Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?" I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, "now, you can do whatever you want." So here I am! Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!
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Lightwater Member Since: 21 Aug 2014 Location: Sydney Northern Beaches Posts: 4921 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
A woman has a saucy secret rendezvous with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend, and they make love for hours.
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Lightwater Member Since: 21 Aug 2014 Location: Sydney Northern Beaches Posts: 4921 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Lightwater Member Since: 21 Aug 2014 Location: Sydney Northern Beaches Posts: 4921 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Lightwater Member Since: 21 Aug 2014 Location: Sydney Northern Beaches Posts: 4921 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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robblue Member Since: 10 Jan 2017 Location: cornwall Posts: 273 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Lightwater Member Since: 21 Aug 2014 Location: Sydney Northern Beaches Posts: 4921 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Too many time zones
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Lightwater Member Since: 21 Aug 2014 Location: Sydney Northern Beaches Posts: 4921 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Putin is at a loss with his armies getting stomped in Kursk and in desperation he summons the ghost of Stalin:
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Rommel Member Since: 20 Aug 2017 Location: Sandhurst Berkshire Posts: 703 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Defender 90 300 TDi. Defender 90 300 TDi CSW. 1964 MGB Roadster. 1944 Willys MB "Jeep" with bullet holes. (gone) 17 hand Irish Drought Thoroughbred (mostly lame) Nagging Old Boiler. Mahatma Gandhi said if there is an Idiot in power those who elected him are well represented. The Enemy is our own corrupt Government. |
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Rommel Member Since: 20 Aug 2017 Location: Sandhurst Berkshire Posts: 703 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Rommel Member Since: 20 Aug 2017 Location: Sandhurst Berkshire Posts: 703 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Lightwater Member Since: 21 Aug 2014 Location: Sydney Northern Beaches Posts: 4921 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
As the coffin of a Parking Officer was being lowered into the grave, a voice from inside the coffin screams,
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