It's on their second acceleration 2 video too

I feel I need to buy a sports car and move to an area with more bikinis Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

I was walking home from the pub at 1am this morning and a police car pulled up alongside.
'Excuse me sir' said pc plod, 'Where are you going at this late hour?'

I replied 'I'm going to attend a lecture on Alcohol Abuse and it's effect on the human body'.

'Where on earth do you go for lectures at this time of the morning?' asked plod.

'Home' I replied. Another member of the failed FL2 clutch/DMF club, twice.

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Aussie Help line...What's the problem cobber?"

"I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on her pussy by a wasp, and now it has completely closed up."

"Bummer mate!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that, Bye.".


Bill T. Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

New method for changing the oil.
A complete lube job....

The teacher:
- Kids, what sounds did you hear yesterday at the farm?
Kids:
- Moooo, Moooo
- Quack, Quack
- Fu*ck the bloody tractor... It's broken again!


Almost all serial killers are men. This because woman like to kill a single man, very slowly, during many, many years...

Advertising terms explained
NEW - Different colour from previous design.
ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
EXCLUSIVE - Imported product from goodness knows where.
UNMATCHED - Not quite as good as the competition.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks on-site test equipment.
HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts actually fit.
FUTURISTIC - We have no idea why it looks the way it does.
REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.
BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.
MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.
MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.
SOLID-STATE – Don’t drop it on your foot.
HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

Bill T.
** Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

CG,

This should be ideal for you and other Yorkshire based members to book for your next meet.



Bill T. Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

A bloke goes for a haircut, taking his young daughter with him
Whilst he is having his hair cut, his daughter is stood close to the chair eating cake
Barber says to lass "don't stand too close, you'll get hair on your muffin"
To which young girl replies "I know...and I grow tits as well" [:)]

Taken from BBC4's "Some Boffins with Jokes"

Bill T Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

 Another member of the failed FL2 clutch/DMF club, twice.

caravan for sale:-
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/PERLE-CARAVAN-RO...1310553434 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Spin a good story and someone will buy it

We could all chip in and buy it and we could then permanently site it on a little farm near Boroughbridge  p****d off with a Digital Keyboard Warrior

BEING MARRIED

The officer says, 'I clocked you at 95mph, sir.'

The driver says, 'Christ, officer I had it on cruise control at 70, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, ! 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'F..k it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic £60 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T You shut the f..k up?

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


I love this part... :















'Only when he's pi55ed.' Kola is the big solid black German Shepherd, Dobbie is.......a breed you've never heard of......yet;)