Just heard about a new sex position called The Parcelforce, you can stay in all day and nobody comes......

DPD man sorted me out today  At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

exhaust pipe tinkerers take note

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

when searching for a Grand Father Clock on the internet what ever you do DON'T MISS THE 'L' OUT  Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

NSFW

Not sure what this guy is on about, but WTF happens to his speech at the end



She's looks easy on the eye though  Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.


You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.


You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

Two fish in a tank, one said to the other, are you sure you know how to drive one of these.

You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, "You sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder. "You sign! You sign!"

Nelson says to him, "Look mate, you've obviously got the wrong bloke. Push off", and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it,the little Chinese man is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling, "You sign! You sign!" Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he shoves the little Chinese man back, shouting: "Look, push off! You've got the wrong bloke! I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusts a clipboard under his nose, shouting "You sign! You sign!" Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.

This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him; "Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?"

The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says:
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"You not Nissan Maindealer?"

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

The royal shoemaker is the only person allowed to say "Cobblers to the Queen"

The bikini season is just around the corner - unfortunately so is the Chinese Takeaway! Everyone can spread it - Anyone can catch it. Stay home - the life you save can be your own!

in my inbox


I am Mr. Ben Collins. Director Inspection Unit United Nations Inspection Agent in Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport Georgia. During our investigation, I discovered an abandoned shipment from a Diplomat from United Kingdom under ship forwarder was transferred from JF Kennedy Airport to our facility here in Atlanta and when scanned, it revealed an undisclosed sum of money in a Metal Trunk Box weighing approximately 110kg each. The consignment was abandoned because the Content was not properly declared by the consignee as money rather it was declared as personal effect to avoid diversion by the Shipping Agent also the Diplomat inability to pay for Non Inspection Fees.

I want us to transact this business and share the money, since the shippers have abandoned it and ran away. I will pay for the Non inspection fee and arrange for the boxes to be moved out of this Airport to your address, once we are through I will deploy the services of a secured shipping Company geared to provide the security it needs to your doorstep, or I can bring it by myself to avoid any more trouble. But I will share it 50% to you and 50% to me. If you assure me of my 50% and agreed with my condition, you should contact me.

Please always respond to me with my private and confidential email: At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

https://dotsub.com/view/6c5d7514-5656-476a-9504-07dd4e2f6509 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race