I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said, "Great legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now. "

Bill T Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

I was the getaway driver for a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night.

We took the A4. [:$] Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Just creased up laughing at that  2013 RR Evoque Pure Tech
2012 TD4 GS Auto Orkney Grey - gone



Admin note: this post has had its images recovered from a money grabbing photo hosting site and reinstated  Another member of the failed FL2 clutch/DMF club, twice.

Greg that's terrible  p****d off with a Digital Keyboard Warrior

I know
But if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be driving around in a nice Santorini Black D4  Another member of the failed FL2 clutch/DMF club, twice.

 Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

That's what you get for inviting another member, if only I had invited Nick perhaps

I won't forget what you've cost me  p****d off with a Digital Keyboard Warrior

Sign in the rear screen of a car I followed today:

"If you can read this... I've lost my caravan" 2020 Defender D200 110S Pangea Green
Gone: 2018 L550, TD4 SE Tech Auto, Carpathian Grey
Gone: Defender 90 200Tdi, Grey Raptor
Gone: 2012 FL2, TD4 GS Manual, Santorini Black

I was watching TV when my wife sat down beside me, stroked my cock through my jeans and whispered, “Fancy a f@/k?”

I said, “You’re after something…”

“No I’m not,” she protested.

“Yes you are,” I said. “You’re after Match of the Day. Come back in an hour.” [:D]

Bill T Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... the first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. ...
The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from WALES. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal........
The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.
He still has some difficulty when he urinates..

Bill T Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

An Italian, a Frenchman and a Geordie are in a bar. The Italian boasts "when I make love to my wife, she is so ecstatic she rises one metre In the air". The Frenchman boasts "when I make love to my wife she is so overcome, she rises two metres in the air". "That's nothing" says the Geordie. "Last time I shagged the missus, I wiped me c**k on the curtains and she hit the f*****g ceiling". 2013 RR Evoque Pure Tech
2012 TD4 GS Auto Orkney Grey - gone

CHRISTENING

Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma.
After being in a coma for nearly six months, she woke up and saw that she was no longer pregnant.
Frantically she asked the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replied, “You had twins, a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. However they were poorly at birth
and had to be christened immediately, so your brother Paddy came in and named them.”

The woman thought to herself, ‘Oh suffering Jesus no, not me brother. He's a clueless idiot! ‘
Expecting the worst, she asked the doctor, “Well, what's my daughter's name?”
“ Denise .” said the doctor.

The new mother was somewhat relieved and thought to her self, ‘Wow, that's a really beautiful name.
I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like Denise .'

Then she asked, “So what's the boy's name then?”


The doctor replied : “Denephew.”