FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

so who is the leader? Im confused




some nonsense here


1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a tumble dryer.

3. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

4. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag
filled with vegetable soup.

5. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

6. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the
centre

7. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

8. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

9. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.

10. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough
at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

11. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the
Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

13. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin
sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

14. The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.

15. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

16. Shots rang out, as shots are known to do.

17. The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan
just might work.

18. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
eating for while.

19. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student
on 31p-a-pint night.

20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but
a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine
or something.

21. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can
tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

22. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

24. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.

25. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating
electric fan set on medium.

26. It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
with their power tools.

27. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if she were a dustcart reversing.

28. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.

29. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature British beef.

30. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

31. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

32. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it
to the wall.
__________________

Go get your VAT return finished CG Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Totally stolen from Disco3 but its great

disco3kenny wrote:

http://www.sat-gps-locate.com

What will think of next !

npinks wrote:

Totally stolen from Disco3 but its great

disco3kenny wrote:

http://www.sat-gps-locate.com

What will think of next !

A posh hotel holds 3 weddings on the same day and at the end of the night, the 3 grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events over a couple of beers.
One questions the other two, "listen, it's our wedding night and I was
wondering - how many times are we expected to...um...you know.... DO IT ???
Eventually, they all decide to retire to their respective wives and see
how the night goes, with the idea to meet up the following morning over
breakfast to discuss what went on. Suddenly one of the grooms pipes up, "Hold on lads, we can't discuss our first nights marital goings on over the breakfast table with our new wives sat with us. "No you're right" . What we'll do then, is for every piece of toast we order with our breakfast, that'll be the amount times we did it",offers another groom. They all decide it's an excellent idea and depart.
The next day in the hotel dining room, the grooms are all looking a bit
dishevelled, but that's nothing compared to the brides, who can barely
stagger across the room to their tables.
The waitress comes up to the first groom to take his order, "Hello,I'll have the full English breakfast with THREE pieces of toast please". The other two
grooms smile at him and raise a glass of fresh orange in a toast to his
fantastic prowess.
The waitress moves to the second couple, and the groom orders, "I too
shall have the full English breakfast but could I have FOUR pieces of
toast"
The waitress gets to the last groom. "I shall also have the full English
breakfast please, yet I shall have..." he takes a deep breath "SEVEN, yes
SEVEN PIECES OF TOAST" he calls for everyone's benefit. Whilst giving a big
cheesy grin to his two wedding mates, who stare at him in disbelief at the thought how raw his poor schlong must be.
"Seven pieces of toast sir?" queries the waitress. "Why, that's an awful lot". "Yes indeed young lady, seven pieces of toast it is." She writes down
his order and turns away, but before she can leave, the groom calls after her
again...




"And by the way love, can you make two of those Brown ?"  Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Two men were talking:
- I was wondering why my son has red hair. My wife has bond hair and I have black hair.
- Well. How often do you make love to your wife. Oane a week ?
- No
- Oance a month ?
- No
- Oance every six month ?
- Something like this.
- It's clear then. It's the rust FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

Anyone flew this airline?
http://www.bofunk.com/video/6521/no_frills_airline.html FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

An article from a well known tabloid news paper here in the UK.

TEENAGER called directory inquiries to book a taxi but ended up having a cabinet delivered – because she asked for a “cab, innit”.
The 19-year-old Londoner wanted a taxi to take her from her home to Bristol airport, and first asked for the number using the Cockney rhyming slang “Joe Baxi”.

When the baffled operator told her she could not find anyone listed by that name, the teen snapped back: “It ain’t a person, it’s a cab, innit.”


The operator then found the nearest cabinet shop, Displaysense, and put the girl through.
She then spoke to an equally bemused saleswoman and eventually fumed: “Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit.

I need it for 10am. How much is it?”

The sales adviser said it would be £180 and the girl gave her address and paid with a credit card.

The next morning, the company delivered an office cabinet to her home in South London.

The girl then called back in a fury and Displaysense finally realised the mistake.

The firm, of Bishop’s Stortford, Herts, has now apologised and refunded her cash after the mix-up two weeks ago.

Marketing manager Steve Whittle said yesterday: “We thought it was a joke at first but the girl was absolutely livid.

“We have suggested that maybe she should speak a bit clearer on the phone.” ______________________
2011 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8
2012 FL2 SD4 Auto HSE
2013 Kawasaki Versys 650

Pass me a beer please.

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma'am,” said the cop, “I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home,” responded the Amish lady.

“That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls. I consider that animal abuse. Have your husband take care of that right away!” instructed the cop.

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.

“Well, dear, what exactly did he say?” asked Jacob.

“He said the reflector is broken,” replied the lady.

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?” wondered Jacob.

“I'm not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake,” said the lady. FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

avtur wrote:

This may appeal to anyone who regularly visits web forums (I found it on another forum I visit)
Avtur - You forgot the 'Green Lamp Bulb' energy saving party forum members



How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?



1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.


7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.


1 to move it to the Lighting section.


2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section


7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs


5 to flame the spell checkers


3 to correct spelling/grammar flames


6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to
condemn those 6 as stupid


2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"


15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb"
is perfectly correct


19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this
discussion to a lightbulb forum


11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs
and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum


36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy
the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique
and what brands are faulty


7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs


4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected
URL's


3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this
group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group


13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
headers and signatures, and add "Me too"


5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
handle the light bulb controversy


4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"


13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about
light bulbs"


18 who trip over each other in their rush to say "repost!"


1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

http://www.disco3.co.uk/forum/topic20642.html Maverick off disco3!
Drives white 1996 Defender 90 300TDi

R.I.P. Smudge! 24.10.08
R.I.P Hesko! 29.4.09

Maverick wrote:

http://www.disco3.co.uk/forum/topic20642.html

 Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis