DEVOTION TO ISLAM



A devout Muslim entered a black cab in London.

He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching,

he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music,

especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door

The Arab asked him, "What are you doing?"

The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so f*ck off and wait for a camel!!"

Bill T Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Pinky is at home when there is a knock on the door, He goes to the door, he has stockings on, high heel shoes a little mini skirt with a push you up bra, a face full of make-up and big hoop earrings, A joint in one hand and a whisky in the other.
The gas man asks is your wife in.....
To which he replies........... DOES IT F!!KING LOOK LIKE IT At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

I thought you two were talking quietly for a long time - exchanging notes  2002 Honda VFR800
2002 Toyota Celica 140 Silver (mid life crisis - again!)
2007 FL2 GS Manual Army Reconnaissance Green + freel2.com sticker
2004 Toyota Celica 140 Black - Gone
2000 Toyota Celica 140 Silver - Gone
1998 Toyota Celica ST Pearl Green - Gone
1996 Nissan Primera 1.6 - Gone
1994 Rover Montego 1.6 Auto - Gone

THE TAX SYSTEM EXPLAINED IN BEER

Suppose that every evening, 10 men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this :-

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The seventh would pay £7.
The eighth would pay £12.
The ninth would pay £18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.

So, that's what they decided to do....... The 10 men drank in the bar every evening and were quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner said,
"Since you are all such good customers, I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by £20".

Drinks for the 10 men would now cost just £80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the £20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share? They realised that £20 divided by six is £3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

Therefore, the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing.
The sixth now paid £2 instead of £3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid £5 instead of £7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid £9 instead of £12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid £14 instead of £18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid £49 instead of £59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a quid out of the £20 saving," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,"but he got £10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a pound too. It's unfair - he got 10 times more benefit than me!"
"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get £10 back, when I got only £2? The wealthy always win!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists, labour unions and government ministers, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier. At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Farmer sends some pictures of his wife in to a new program on the BBC..

The photos come back a couple of days later with a polite letter explaining that the program will actually be called 'Fact Hunt' At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

A young Native American woman went to a doctor for her first ever
physical exam. After checking all of her vitals and running the usual tests, the doctor said, "Well, Running Doe, you are in fine health. I could find no problems. I did notice one abnormality however."

"Oh, what is that, Doctor?"

"Well, you have no nipples."

"None of the people in my tribe have nipples," she replied.

"That is amazing," said the doctor.
"I'd like to write this up for The South Dakota Journal of Medicine if you don't mind."

She said, "OK."

"First of all" asked the doctor, "how many people are in your tribe?"

She answered, "Approximately 500."

"And what is the name of your tribe?" asked the doctor.

Running Doe replied, "We're called "The Indiannippleless Five Hundred" Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

For fun, for my birthday, I asked my wife to play my favorite character from Star Wars.
When I entered the bedroom I was shocked: "But baby, Jabba the Hutt was not my favorite ..." I said...
"Go to hell stupid!" she said, "I haven't dressed myself yet! "...

Re. The Tax System Explained in Beer.

In the real world, it is the middle class who foot the bill. The rich pay nowt. 2013 RR Evoque Pure Tech
2012 TD4 GS Auto Orkney Grey - gone

Bullying Support Group meeting tonight at 8.00pm

You better be there or else! Cheers,
Raz
FL1 TD4 GS Auto 2001 Silver
FL2 TD4 Auto 2007 Black
FL2 XS SD4 Auto 2012 Fuji White

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFNLqz8TLqM...playnext=2

taztastic wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFNLqz8TLqM...playnext=2

 2013 RR Evoque Pure Tech
2012 TD4 GS Auto Orkney Grey - gone

taztastic wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFNLqz8TLqM...playnext=2

Taz must say your dancing has improved since the BBQ  2002 Honda VFR800
2002 Toyota Celica 140 Silver (mid life crisis - again!)
2007 FL2 GS Manual Army Reconnaissance Green + freel2.com sticker
2004 Toyota Celica 140 Black - Gone
2000 Toyota Celica 140 Silver - Gone
1998 Toyota Celica ST Pearl Green - Gone
1996 Nissan Primera 1.6 - Gone
1994 Rover Montego 1.6 Auto - Gone

I told my wife to get me a newspaper,
"Don't be silly" she said, "borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what f hit it

EYorkshire wrote:

I told my wife to get me a newspaper,
"Don't be silly" she said, "borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what f hit it

 2013 RR Evoque Pure Tech
2012 TD4 GS Auto Orkney Grey - gone