It could be worse, at least they are not Iffys
Nice colour also must be a person of impeccable taste, so that rules you out CG.

This is a real tough one!!

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

THE SITUATION:

You are in London, there is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.


The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.

THE TEST:

Suddenly, you see a man in the water.

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...

You suddenly realise who it is;

It's Muslim Cleric Abu Hamza (the hook handed bas*ard). You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.

You have two options:

You can save the life of Abu or you can shoot a dramatic Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's most despised, evil men!

THE QUESTION:

Here's the question, and please give a truely honest answer...



Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white? FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

Extracts from letters written

to local councils:


1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

11. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsigh tly and dangerous.

17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

23. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.

Having worked for the local Council these would be funny if they the exception to to the rule,
But they used to arrive daily which does not say a lot for the standards of education in certain areas of the borough.

Bill Turner. Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.

Everybody wants to complain about HIM  2007 Freelander 2 HSE TD4 Manual with Premium Pack & Moonroof.
Stornoway Grey with Ebony Black Pleather, Clear Indicators, Body Side Mouldings etc.

A man walks into WH Smiths book shop and says ''Do you have that new self-help book for men with really small d cks'' ?
Girls says ''It's not in yet''
Man says ''Yeah, that's the one''

 Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

There was this little girl that lately had a permanent grin on her face.
After a while, the parents go with her to the doctor:
- Doctor, we don't know why she has this grin on her face all the time!
The doctor looked and said:
- Did you tried to loosen up a little the hair tails?


A knight had to go in a crusade. Baggage itself, puts a chastity belt on his wife and gave the key to its best friend:
- If I don't come back in three years, you can have my wife.
And he saw the road.
After an hour, the friend reached him from behind:
- You gave me the wrong key!

Two hunters were somewhere in a forest. At one point, one of them falls to the ground, breathless and
with his eyes closed.
The other one pulls his cell phone and calls the ambulance.
- My friend died. What should I do? he yells on the phone.
Operator answers:
- Please calm down and I will help you. First make sure he's really dead.
A little silence and after a few seconds a loud shooting is heard.
After that, the guy gets back on the phone and says:
- OK, so now what do I do?

A guy gets into an auto parts store and says:
- A set of windscreen wipers for my FL2!
The seller responds:
-Okay! It seems a fair exchange!



The beautiful young girl neighbor knocked on his door, he opens and she says:
- Hey, I just got home, I feel like having fun, get drunk and have sex all night ... you're busy tonight?
- No, Noooo!
- Well... Would you mind then to keep an eye on my dog?

Spotted yesterday that the company that own Durex, UK group SSL International have agreed terms with Anglo-Dutch consumer goods company Reckitt Benckiser who make Cillit Bang..... Hi Darling, I'll be home in 10 mins. If I'm not back, please read this message again...

There were two statues in a park, located one in front of another. One was a man and another a woman, both nudes.
An angel came down, touch them, and the statues come to life.
The angel tells them:
- As a reward for 100 years in cold and heat without complain, you have 15 minutes to do what you want.
They go into a bush and, from time to time, laughter is heard.
After 15 minutes they came back, but the angel tells them:
- I thought and I will give you another 15 minutes.
One statue says to the other:
- This time we reverse, and you hold the dove and I poo on it!

A guy walks into a public toilet ...
In the cabin next to his, a constipated guy is trying to move the bowl quite noisily.
The first guy, ending what he was done, leaves and, by habit, turns off the light as he exits.
In that moment a very scary scream is heard.
Curious, he comes back, turn the light back on and asks what happened.
Visibly frightened, the constipated man answers:
- I thought my eyes pop out!

--------------

Nine of 10 men like big breasts, and the 10th man likes the first nine.

 Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Since I was falling in love with you, I can't drink, smoke or eat!
- Why? Do you love me so much?
- No, but I don't have enough money!

alex_pescaru wrote:

Since I was falling in love with you, I can't drink, smoke or eat!
- Why? Do you love me so much?
- No, but I don't have enough money!

not funny  At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race