Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.' The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages However, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.


He got an A Every time I learn something new,something old gets pushed out of my brain?

BRILL  Common sense isn't very common.
_______________________________
2007 Land Rover Freelander2 I6 hse Auto

Two women went on a girls night out, and got slightly carried away with the cocktails.
Drunk and walking home, they realised they both needed to pee.
They were near a graveyard and one suggested they do their business behind a headstone.
The first woman had nothing to wipe with, so she took off her panties, used them, and threw them away.
But her friend was wearing expensive underwear that she didn't want to throw away.
Thinking on her feet, she managed to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on the grave.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the others husband and says these damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties.
That's nothing, said the other. Mine had a card stuck between the cheeks: 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you!' Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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 2009 FL2 S now gone
2011 FL2 HSE AUTO
2012 FL2 XS AUTO
2000 Kawasaki er 5

The first 40 seconds are simply a distraction!
 Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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Is the last one your misses? Common sense isn't very common.
_______________________________
2007 Land Rover Freelander2 I6 hse Auto

No, thin like two of the others, 52kg 170cm, but personally I would like a bit more meat, #2 is my favourite! But then let's be honest, I would like a bit lot more of anything! Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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An old farmer


While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders.

The old farmer said, "Well, as I see it, most politicians are 'Post Turtles."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old farmer saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb arse put him up there to begin with."

Best explanation of a politician I've ever heard. Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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 2009 FL2 S now gone
2011 FL2 HSE AUTO
2012 FL2 XS AUTO
2000 Kawasaki er 5

Governments' relentless hospital cost cutting measures: Scrubs savings!

 Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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Unexpected item in bagging area.

 Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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Hawkers: Next of Kin will not be informed... or words to that effect:

 Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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Louis XIV’s finance minister, Jean-Baptiste Colbert, famously declared that “the art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing.” Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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Little Sammy has really upset the girls at school.
After months of enduring his foul language and sexual innuendoes in class, the girls one day get together before class and decide, if today, Sammy says anything even remotely sexual or offensive, they will all get up at the same time and walk out in protest.
Class starts and the teacher says: "OK kids, today's subject will be buildings and construction. Who can tell me how buildings are made?"
The class remains quiet, then little Sammy raises his hand and says "Miss, I know".
The teacher says, "OK Sammy, please explain."
Sammy: "Well, first before anything you need a permit from the city for the construction project to begin, that could take months. Once you get the permit, then come the bulldozers to basically dig into the earth to create the foundation. Then, concrete is poured into the foundation and pylons are inserted. Around the pylons, the outer structure of the building is made, floors, walls, ceilings.Then comes wiring and plumbing. Next drywall can be installed along with flooring and fixtures. When all is said and done, you still have to get an occupancy permit from the city before you can actually use the building.
The class remains quiet.
The teacher says: WOW Sammy! Bravo, that was amazing, how did you learn all that?
Sammy: For the past 8 months, just a few doors down from our house, they have been building what I think is a huge whore house, I've watched the whole thing from start to finish.
At that moment, all the girls suddenly get up and start to walk out.
Sammy looks around and says:
Woah woah woah, girls sit down, they are not hiring yet, still waiting for final permit. Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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I will never hear church bells ringing again the same way!

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother to comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.'

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny. 'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring.

It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even...Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.'

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, 'He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along.' Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

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