The Australian biscuit story.


Monte Carlo was an Iced Animals dumping Marie behind the Cheds. His Jaffa Cakes were in poor Shapes with his Honey Jumbles looking more like a Raspberry Shortcake.

Iced VoVo was a Tina Wafer with big Royals, he took her for Morning Coffee at the Savoy where they Jatz Clix.

Behind the TeeVee Snacks on her Spicy Fruit Roll while looking for the Mint Slice and then enjoying a Milk Arrowroot and thought it was Nice.

But it would cost him Hundred and Thousands when he put his Scotch Finger on her Date Slice behind the Venetian.

Honey Snaps, she's no Tartlets grabbing him by his Ginger Nut while he is into the Coconut Rings like a YoYo, and made him SAO.

Later Tim Tams Monte with a Teddy Bear while he is under the Wagon Wheels.

Time Tic Tocs, nine months after Custard Creams, Water Crackers. He was Arno Shortbread but lost his Vita Wheat and now is Shredded Wheatmeal on his Quatro.

No more Bush Biscuits or Chocolate Ripple, only Cruskits. His finances are Lemon Crisps and can only afford Salada.

Tiny Teddy, a little Kingstons with his Caramel Crowns, Butternut Snap out of it or will be Delta Cream, has grown out of Chocolate Wheaten, is off the Malt O Milk and into Milk Coffee with Orange Slice and is a Scalliwag no more. Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

........ only to find, Land Rover beat them to it !!!

what will the Chinese charge to tow the landy back home? At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

The Chinese 10 tonne tow rope only has a capacity of 50kg & fails. The shackles were made of dodgy metal & snap. Then there will be asbestos contamination over everything from the rocket parts which were certified that they were asbestos free. Then there will be a cover up of how they actually got it back because the technology that actually worked was stolen. Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

Not a Land Rover!
 Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

This has to fall into the humour section; I’ve just read that BMW are starting a subscription service for such items as heated front seats for £15pm and heated steering wheel at £10 Could only be BMW, although they do offer reduced annual rates. Seems this scheme’s been in place in some countries for a while.

You laugh now..... wait until they're all doing it Current driveway contents:
2021 V60 Cross Country B5
2009 FL2 dog bus and shooting wagon

On Order: 2023 Fisker Ocean Ultra - deposit paid.

So you buy a second hand BMW - maybe a year old, and then have to pay a "rental fee" for the heated steering wheel ?

Sounds similar to the batteries on some electric cars, you buy a second hand car but are lumbered with the remainder of the rental period for the battery.

Definitely belongs in the joke section. Tangiers Orange - gone, missing her
Replaced by Ewok what a mistake - now a happy Disco Sport owner

NoDo$h wrote:

You laugh now..... wait until they're all doing it

This sort of thing happens now for real. I read somewhere recently that a farmers' new mega expensive tractor stopped working in the middle of a field. He called out the service engineer who could not get it going then he contacted the tractor company who told him that his monthly payment had been missed so they remotely disabled the tractor and would restore it only when the payment was made. This happened as it turned out that the payment was not recorded correctly by the company due to a cock up.

J

The options are also available on purchase new as normal for a single payment (which stay with the vehicle for life) and TBH if your optioning the car from new why wouldn’t you pay outright, I cannot see heated seats being more than £500 option at new and it works out cheaper over a three year lease.

What it does do which people tend to ignore is a secondhand purchaser could actually have these items added if they weren’t bought by the original buyer, and were missing on the car.

Having said that I have absolutely no doubt there will be plenty of third party software updates available via “tuning upgrade” sellers as are others already. Regards

David

Lovely i6 has now gone, but not me......

Please let me know if anything in my post offends you, as I may wish to offend you again......

A US warship was visiting the UK and was approaching the coast. There was a dead still calm and one of those thick sea fogs reducing visibility to zero.

The ship's radar pinged up something directly ahead which appeared to be on a colision course so the US ship radioed "This a United States warship calling unidentified vessel. You are directly ahead of me and on a collision course, alter course to Starboard."

The reply came "Negative, maintaining station".

The US warship called again "This is a United States warship, you are directly ahead of me and on a collision course, please alter course to Starboard."

The reply came "Negative, maintaining station".


By now the Captain of the US warship was getting quite concerned so he called again "I am an 85,000 ton United States warship, fully armed and nuclear capable. You are on a direct collision course with me it is imperiative that you alter course to Starboard immediately to avoid a collision".

The reply came "Negative, I am a lighthouse".

J

The sad bit is The wife did bring my tools into hospital so that I could fix my hospital bed - 4 days after a quintuple heart bypass. As she pointed out, the annoying bed was doing more to raise my blood pressure than the heart surgery.

Nurses asked did I want a job!

Not sure if the guy in the next bed drove a Toyota, but he did sleep all day then keep his light on and read / listen to music all night

Surgery Monday, woke up Wednesday, Home Saturday, back at work part time 4 weeks later - was driving her indoors mental "fixing" stuff when she was trying to keep the house tidy for visitors. Tangiers Orange - gone, missing her
Replaced by Ewok what a mistake - now a happy Disco Sport owner

Old lady in an elevator

An old lady is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City Building, when a young beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old lady and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No 5, $200 an once!"

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both women in the eye, then bends over, farts and says.......

"Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!" Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18