as someone who writes manuals it hits a note.

Who but me reads manuals anymore? Tangiers Orange - gone, missing her
Replaced by Ewok what a mistake - now a happy Disco Sport owner

No, we mainly read automatics nowadays. (Now where's my coat...) Ex AA Series III LWB Safari - Gone
300TDi Disco (bought new - terrible car) sent back after 18 months
Freelander 1 Estate - leased, given back at end of lease
200TDi Disco (bought from a mate with 100,000 on the clock) - Gone
Disco 2 TD5 - sold and exported to France
FR2 TD4 GS - Gone
FR2 SD4 HSE - Now changed for a DS
New model ex-demo Evoque S 180 in white
Unable to order a new DS, so gave up. Now have a Volvo S90 Recharge.

Exciting news .....

Walkers have announced that they are releasing “Murray” flavoured crisps.

Made from common taters

RIP At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

But in view of his recent demise you may find they have bad taste. Ex AA Series III LWB Safari - Gone
300TDi Disco (bought new - terrible car) sent back after 18 months
Freelander 1 Estate - leased, given back at end of lease
200TDi Disco (bought from a mate with 100,000 on the clock) - Gone
Disco 2 TD5 - sold and exported to France
FR2 TD4 GS - Gone
FR2 SD4 HSE - Now changed for a DS
New model ex-demo Evoque S 180 in white
Unable to order a new DS, so gave up. Now have a Volvo S90 Recharge.

'Nice touch having Prince Philip taken to the Church on the back of a Land Rover. I wonder if they'll have Prince Andrew buried in a 15 year old Escort.' Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

Takes a while for humour to reach Oz, this has already appeared in Notable Obituaries

Well they have shut the borders..... Regards

David

Lovely i6 has now gone, but not me......

Please let me know if anything in my post offends you, as I may wish to offend you again......

With the Air-Bubble to NZ, they should also hear that joke ....

The weather

The Aboriginals in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was an elder in a modern community he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.

But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea.

He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked, 'Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?'

The meteorologist responded, 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold..'

So, the elder went back to his tribe and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

The meteorologist again replied, 'Yep, it's going to be a very cold winter.'

The elder went back to his tribe and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the elder called the Bureau again. Hey, 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?.

'Absolutely,' the guy replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the elder asked.

The weatherman replied, 'Our satellites have reported that the Aboriginals in the north are collecting firewood like crazy, and that's always a sure sign.' Procrastination, mankind's greatest labour saving device!

Acoustic insulation ARB TPMS 3xARB air compressors After cooler Air tank On-board OCD pressure air/water cleaning Additional 50L fuel Carpet in doors ABE 2x1kg Waeco 28L modified fridge Battery 4x26ah Solar 120w Victron MPPT 100/20 DC-DC 18amps 175amp jumper plug Awning 6x255/60R18

Man walked out of his hospital ward still wearing his gown, pulling his drips along behind him, into the local pub.
He ordered a double whisky.
He promptly knocked that back in one and said to the barman "I shouldn't be having this with what I've got"
"what have you got then?" asked the barman
"10pence"

With thanks to Barry Cryer

Earl Spencer here, could I book a seat on a Ryanair flight in the name of Bashir ?

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is taking a single feather and doing something lingering and sensual and beautiful to your partner.
Kinky is using the whole chicken

Thanks to Willy Rushton

Using the whole chicken is so much easier now that they come without giblets and a ready made cavity. A friend told me.

J

It's good to have informed friends!

don't worry, as you have chlorinated chicken