This is after all the humour section and I for one fail to see any humour in changing batteries in remotes...  94 Disco 300 TDI Gone
96 Defender 300 TDI Gone...Should have kept it.
2003 Freelander ES TD4 Gone
2002 Defender TD5 Gone
2005 Freelander HSE TD4 Gone
2015 Freelander 2 Metropolis Keeping for now!

Visited Statford on Avon today, lots of tourists around, as usual, some were from China, but I had my 2mtr stick and a stopwatch.

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Is that near Stratford-upon-Avon...  94 Disco 300 TDI Gone
96 Defender 300 TDI Gone...Should have kept it.
2003 Freelander ES TD4 Gone
2002 Defender TD5 Gone
2005 Freelander HSE TD4 Gone
2015 Freelander 2 Metropolis Keeping for now!

2nd February - Groundhog, your BARD ....

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 LL.B (Hons) - University of Derby
LOT (Lord of Time) - University of Gallifrey

^^^^ I see Kent is dry though.....
Dave DAVE.

As a witches tit.......  Regards

David

Lovely i6 has now gone, but not me......

Please let me know if anything in my post offends you, as I may wish to offend you again......

Dave47 wrote:

^^^^ I see Kent is dry though.....
Dave

Joe ran a small import/export business but with all this Corona virus stuff and the low £ times were becoming very hard. He had two employees, Jack and Gill, they were both good and he liked them both but with times so hard he was going to have to lay one of them off only he couldn't decide which one.

He spent all weekend worrying about it and still couldn't decide so he thought the only way would be to let the first one who came into his office would be the one he let go.

It was Gill. He was finding it so difficult to say what he had to say and finally blurted out "It's really hard at the moment and I will have to lay you or Jack off".

Gill replied "Oh, that's a shame, it's my time of the month. Can't you just jack off?"


J

^^^

I bet he changed his mind and let Jack go......  Regards

David

Lovely i6 has now gone, but not me......

Please let me know if anything in my post offends you, as I may wish to offend you again......

Best I've heard for a long time. Still laughing.

A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans, but was told by the cashier:
"I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat food to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat."

So the lady went home, brought in her cat and was sold the cat food.

The next day, she comes in and tries to buy two cans of dog food and was again told she couldn't buy them without proof.
So the lady went home, brought in her dog and was sold the dog food...

One day later, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid and asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said:
"No, you might have a snake in there."

The lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box, quickly pulled it out and screamed:
"That smells like s**t."

The lady replied:
"It is... I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper please." 2007 TD4 XS The work horse that earns its up keep
2013 SD4 HSE The posh one for towing the caravan
1973 Triumph Stag I bought in 2009 and restored.

Oh to be in England
Now that Covid's here.
We cannot wipe our arses
Nor sup some nice cold beer.
We cannot kiss each other
Nor shake each other's hand.
Social intercourse is frowned on
And the Other Sort is banned!

^^^  DAVE.