[/img] 2007 TD4 XS The work horse that earns its up keep
2013 SD4 HSE The posh one for towing the caravan
1973 Triumph Stag I bought in 2009 and restored.

England are 12-1 for the World Cup. For those that don't understand betting this means that if you bet £10 at 12-1, you'll lose £10

Manchester City v Liverpool were like Oscar Pistorious; lost both legs but still managed 4 shots on target

Neil Armstrong ………THIS IS GOOD
ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.
HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, "THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE
GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY
MILLIONS.


BUT JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK
"GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."


MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGHT IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME
RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT. HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.

OVER THE YEARS, MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE - 'GOOD
LUCK, MR. GORSKY' STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.
ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA, WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS
FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION ABOUT MR GORSKY TO ARMSTRONG.

THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED BECAUSE MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION.

HERE IS THE ANSWER TO "WHO WAS MR GORSKY":

IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WESTERN TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD. HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH
LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOUR'S YARD BY THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW.

HIS NEIGHBOURS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY. AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY,
"SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"

It broke the place up.

NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FAMILY CONFIRMED THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
Do pass it on, it's too choice not to pass it on. 10MY (Sept 09) TD4 HSE Auto in Stornoway Grey (Now Gone)

08 FL2 TD4 SE Manual in Rimini Red (Now Gone)

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sleeper/goodluckmrgorsky.html At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

https://www.freel2.com/gallery/albums/user...nnamed.png FL2 MY10 TD4 GS traded in at 2 years
FL2 MY13 TD4 GS Current

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale. LL.B (Hons) - University of Derby
LOT (Lord of Time) - University of Gallifrey

Fred and Mable were celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. Mable said that it had been a good 60 years but she would have liked to have had children. Fred replied that it was not due to lack of trying, so Mable thought that they should have one last try and suggested they go to one of those new "fertilizer" clinics. So the next day off they went to the clinic.

The doctor they saw was very sympathetic and tactfully told them that at their time of life it would be impossible. But seeing they were upset and as they were such a nice old couple he agreed to go through the proceedure. The first thing was to test a sample of Fred's sperm so he was given a sample bottle and an appointment for the next week.

When they turned up for the appointment Fred gave the sample bottle to the nurse who was quite surprised when she found the bottle empty. I know, said Fred. I tried with my right hand then my left hand and then with both hands. Then Mable tried everything she could and still no luck so we went to our next door neighbour, she's only 59 and she tried first with her teeth in then with her teeth out and then we all tried together but no matter what we did we couldn't get the lid off the bottle!


J

This could well be Fred as well, cribbed from today's Times
A 91 year old man goes to his doctor and asked for help to lower his sex drive. With a wry smile the doctor said that at his age any sex drive was only in his head. "I know that" he replied, "that's why I'd like you to bring it a bit lower"

Your wish . . .

A man had had an argument with his wife on the first day of their honeymoon in Brighton and was walking along the beach kicking up sand when he kicked up a silver looking pot. He picked it up and rubbed it with his sleeve to make it a bit cleaner and in a puff of smoke a genie popped out and said "Your wish is my command".

The man said "I want to get away from all this. Build me a fast road so that I can have a good drive to Las Vegas in the USA so that I can gamble away everything I own to stop my wife getting it".

The Genie replied "That will be difficult, don't you know there is three thousand miles of sea to cross. That is one hell of a bridge - impossible to build - can't you wish for something else a bit simpler like a private luxury jet?"

The man said "I see your point but I hate flying". "Alright then, make me understand women".


The Genie scratched his head, though for a bit and replied "OK, what do you want a two or three lane dual carriageway?"

J

Kicking up sand on Brighton beach must be the punch line  my PC is slightly to the right of Genghis
2012 HSE SD4 In Orkney Grey now gone, best car ever.

A 12 year old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the window was wound down.
I'll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car, said the male driver.
"No way, get stuffed", replied the boy.
How about a bag of lollies and £10 asked the driver?
"No way" , replied the irritated youngster.
"What about a bag of lollies and FIFTY pounds, eh"? quizzed the driver, still rolling slowly to keep up with the walking boy.
"No, I'n not getting in the car!" answered the boy.
"OK, I know what you want - I'll give you £100 and a bag of lollies" the driver offered.
"NO," screamed the boy.
What will it take to get you into the car"? asked the driver sighing.
The boy replied: "Listen Dad, you brought a *****ing BMW - you live with it!"

A chicken pie in Jamaica costs £2.00
A chicken pie in Trinidad costs £2.40
A chicken pie in St Kitts costs £2.15

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean  3 x FL1 2 manual + 1 auto
5 x FL2 4 manual + 1 auto
Now Discovery Sport P250 MHEV SE

Festive joke time.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A Mince Spy!

Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho, ho, ho

What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah partridge in a pear tree!

 LL.B (Hons) - University of Derby
LOT (Lord of Time) - University of Gallifrey