My aged mother just called me to say Prince Harry is to marry Angela Merkel ...?????

I replied well at least that keeps the Royal Household ..... German .....

At Price Harry's wedding, he and Prince William will not be wearing military uniform, they will be in 'Suits'

Suit you sir:

 FL2 MY10 TD4 GS traded in at 2 years
FL2 MY13 TD4 GS Current

Went to the off license today to get 20 cans of Carling , girl behind the counter said, have you got a container for it , I said "your talking to it " REME .. Rough Engineering Made Easy

Genuine !

I went to the local Coop and bought a box of corn flakes and a pint of milk. The cashier asked "would you like a bag " ???

No I would like a bowl and spoon

.

I was watching a history programme last night about ancient Greece and the guy commented that on Greek statues the guys always had small Willies and that in those days it was considered that only the barbarians had big ones! I had always thought it might be down to the stone being cold but I looked it up on Google and sure enough there is lots of reference to this phenomenon. You will have to look it up yourselves as I can't add a link without it getting zapped.

So there you have it, a justification if you are underendowed.  3 x FL1 2 manual + 1 auto
5 x FL2 4 manual + 1 auto
Now Discovery Sport P250 MHEV SE

I would think most will want to sign up for the Barbarians now.  FL2 MY10 TD4 GS traded in at 2 years
FL2 MY13 TD4 GS Current

Good rugger team as well  Common sense isn't very common.
_______________________________
2007 Land Rover Freelander2 I6 hse Auto

Too topical.......

The group/Club .... Freelander First ...... are they a Far Right Hand Drive organisation ??

Last night whilst watching television I said to the wife "You know what, you're the absolute double of Jennifer Anniston".

She gave me a cheeky grin and said "Really?"

I said, "Yes sweetheart she's 9 stone and you're 18".

I truly appreciated everything the paramedics did last night. I'm in Ward 15, and I'd like some visitors... REME .. Rough Engineering Made Easy

An Austrailian Sheep Farmer came over to the UK to visit his family, one of whom is a Farmer with 600 acres.

After being shown around the farm they sat outside on the farmhouse patio.

The English Farmer conversed "You see that line of trees in the distance, my land goes all the way over there"

The Austrailian Sheep Farmer then said, "If I get into my car at dawn and travel all day by nightfall I would not have reached the boundary of my land"

The English Farmer replied "I also had a car like that once"

An Aussie, a sheep and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck.

They found themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there for a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the Aussie. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the Aussie took his arm from around the sheep. After that the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful the Aussie had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to the evening ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Aussie started to get ?those feelings? again. He fought them as long as he could, but finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman cautiously, and whispered in her ear 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

J

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2030.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the UK's third language.

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a burqa.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct, and the scientific research fleet are unemployed.

UK Government tells the Japanese that grey squirrels taste like whale meat.

Britain now has ten universities of Political Correctness.

Professor Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.


Britain's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time.

Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.


Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Iran still isolated.. Physicists estimate at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. No one responds.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

After a ten-year, £75.8 billion study commissioned by the Labour Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights.

Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet seven inches.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

Bradford win FA Cup Final, beating Hindu Hornets 4-1.

Bill Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

An update for 2018



White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the UK's third language.
[/i]Government scraps plans to have English taught in schools
Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.
Homosexuality to be made compulsory
Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a burqa.
All pupils who wear a burqa to be given compensation for shock of seeing girl without a burqa
Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct, and the scientific research fleet are unemployed.

UK Government tells the Japanese that grey squirrels taste like whale meat.
Japanese government tells UK goverment to f*** off as it is not part of the EU/Japan trade deal
Britain now has ten universities of Political Correctness.
15
Professor Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.
redacted

Britain's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time.
Britain sold to China to pay off debts
Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.
He now says you can see the proof everywhere

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Iran still isolated.. Physicists estimate at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Ditto N Korea
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. No one responds.
France taken to International Court of Justice for rquesting assistance
Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
It will be nice to get some post
After a ten-year, £75.8 billion study commissioned by the Labour Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights.
Victims to pay criminals compensation
Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.
Now to be held fully responsible
Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet seven inches.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

Bradford win FA Cup Final, beating Hindu Hornets 4-1.
Commentator sacked for racially motivated comment for calling the match a bun fight as the PC description is Curry Fight

 Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.