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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

bad taste indeed but worth a giggle

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Admin note: this post has had its images recovered from a money grabbing photo hosting site and reinstated Mr. Green  At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #32794 10th Dec 2008 11:47 pm
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npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 

bad taste indeed

But they'll be plenty more to come, i presume


I can't help thinking on them lot, how on earth did the person who thought of the idea, put it to the others with out sounding psycho

"did you get the dole cheque love", "I, not much though", "We could always kidnapp your daughter, to get some more money", "what a good idea as well get enough for fish, chips & mushy peas" Shocked Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Post #32804 11th Dec 2008 10:41 am
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

help, Finns been kidnapped, can you all look for him while I pop to the LR dealer to order a new FFRR At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #32811 11th Dec 2008 11:28 am
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npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 

sure i can, order my RRS when your there Laughing Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Post #32812 11th Dec 2008 11:31 am
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snappa



Member Since: 16 Apr 2008
Location: Watching C-beams near the Tanhauser Gate
Posts: 1633

Scotland 2013 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Buckingham Blue

Alarm bells were ringing when it transpired she went shopping for booze the same evening Shannon went missing Rolling Eyes

Post #32852 11th Dec 2008 4:45 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the western plains without water.

His horse has already died of thirst.

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden; he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case.

He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.

She is wearing a Tax Office ID badge and a dull grey dress.

There's a calculator in her pocket-book. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

'Well, cowboy,' says the genie... 'You know how I work. You have three wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy. 'I'm not going to trust an Tax Office genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.

'OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.'

***POOF*** The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

***POOF*** The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good
one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'

***POOF*** He is turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story:

If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string
attached. At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #34718 15th Jan 2009 8:34 am
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bjartin



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Moved to Defender2.net.
Posts: 616

Denmark 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Manual Stornoway Grey
PASTIME.

Click on "Anleitung" = direction for use:
http://wandel-design.dk/druktest.html


Click on " ? " = direction for use:
http://wandel-design.dk/bobler.html LR Freelander2 2,2 Td4 HSE manuel Stornaway Grey (Metallic) & Ebony Black Leather & Sun/Moon-roof & Bi-Xenon & Roof Rails & Tow bar & Body side rubbing strips & Cold climate pack & Privacy glass & NavTeq . Production Date: 11/5-2007 in Halewood.

Sorry, but I have changed to Defender 90 ", and I love my" tractor ".
http://www.youtube.com/bjartin

Post #35003 19th Jan 2009 9:23 am
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

Click image to enlarge


Click image to enlarge
 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #35343 23rd Jan 2009 12:51 pm
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shar



Member Since: 28 Oct 2007
Location: leicestershire
Posts: 324

United Kingdom 2013 Freelander 2 SD4 HSE Lux Auto Firenze Red

Laughing Laughing Laughing that sums it all up pretty well me thinks.. Laughing

Post #35348 23rd Jan 2009 1:16 pm
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bjartin



Member Since: 10 Sep 2007
Location: Moved to Defender2.net.
Posts: 616

Denmark 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Manual Stornoway Grey

Correct Way to Drive

http://www.maniacworld.com/correct_way_to_drive.htm LR Freelander2 2,2 Td4 HSE manuel Stornaway Grey (Metallic) & Ebony Black Leather & Sun/Moon-roof & Bi-Xenon & Roof Rails & Tow bar & Body side rubbing strips & Cold climate pack & Privacy glass & NavTeq . Production Date: 11/5-2007 in Halewood.

Sorry, but I have changed to Defender 90 ", and I love my" tractor ".
http://www.youtube.com/bjartin

Post #35481 24th Jan 2009 7:19 pm
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Dougden



Member Since: 10 May 2008
Location: N W Kent
Posts: 288

England 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

The Aisle Seat

Two Radical Arab Terrorists boarded a flight out of London .
One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat... Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.
After takeoff,the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a coke.' '
Don't get up,' said the Marine, 'I'm in the aisle seat, 'I'll get it for you.'
As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it.
When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, 'That looks good, I'd really like one, too.'
Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it.
When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab
neighbours . . .

'Why does it have to be this way?

How long must this go on . . . ?

This fighting between our nations . . . ?

This hatred . . . ?

This animosity . . . ?

. . . This spitting in shoes and Censored in cokes . . ... ?' FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

Post #35531 25th Jan 2009 6:21 pm
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Dougden



Member Since: 10 May 2008
Location: N W Kent
Posts: 288

England 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black
Credit Crunch

I hear that the credit crunch is even hitting Battersea Dogs home - Apparently they are about to call in the retrievers. FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

Post #35928 31st Jan 2009 9:41 pm
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techauthorbob



Member Since: 13 Jun 2008
Location: UK, Bingley, oop north
Posts: 64

United Kingdom 2011 Freelander 2 TD4_e GS Manual Narvik Black
topical joke

A young guy goes with his girlfriend to her parents house for a meal one snowy day.
They have a good long meal and a drink or two until quite late.
After they leave, the woman goes to close the bedroom curtains and says "hey husband, that boyfriend has peed on the snow and written Merry Xmas"
"So what" says the husband, " all boys do that sort of thing sometimes"
"Yes, said the wife, but it's our daughters handwriting". Thumbs Up

Post #36371 5th Feb 2009 1:30 pm
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npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 
Snow Job

Click image to enlarge
 Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Post #36555 7th Feb 2009 8:35 am
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Dave



Member Since: 04 Jul 2007
Location: Somewhere Near You
Posts: 2666

Scotland 2012 Freelander 2 SD4 HSE Auto Indus Silver

How long did that take you Nick Laughing ______________________
2011 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8
2012 FL2 SD4 Auto HSE
2013 Kawasaki Versys 650

Post #36558 7th Feb 2009 12:09 pm
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