chicken george wrote:

10-12 Oct Pickering

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Ohhhhhhhhh - that takes me back a few years to my old train spotting era  2007 Freelander 2 HSE TD4 Manual with Premium Pack & Moonroof.
Stornoway Grey with Ebony Black Pleather, Clear Indicators, Body Side Mouldings etc.

Did you get in to train spotting for just one weekend in October to impress another girl  Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

no - im more into birds these days
Train spotting was long ago in the days of steam and coal and Neasden sheds, and smoke and grime and.........  2007 Freelander 2 HSE TD4 Manual with Premium Pack & Moonroof.
Stornoway Grey with Ebony Black Pleather, Clear Indicators, Body Side Mouldings etc.

Nicked from another forum .....

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any!"

"But I always buy it here," says the blonde

"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.

"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container .................... ............
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(Wait for it).

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"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."



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"nicked from a caravan forum" .....


Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress are chatting about
their relationships and decided to amaze their men. All three
will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me
with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said,
"You are the woman of my life. I love you." Then we made love all night
long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I
was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.
When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all
night.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the
night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black
stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He came in the door, saw me and
said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,
'Hang on! You're a duck.'

'I see your eyes are working,' replies the duck.

'And you can talk!' exclaims the barman.

'I see your ears are working, too,' says the duck. 'Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?'

'Certainly, sorry about that,' says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. 'It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?'

'I'm working on the building site across the road,'explains the duck.'I'm a plasterer.'

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him 'You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!'

'Sounds marvelous,' says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. 'Get him to give me a call.'

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, 'Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.'

'I'm always looking for the next job,' says the duck. 'Where is it?'

'At the circus,' says the barman.

'The circus?' repeats the duck.

'That's right,' replies the barman.

'The circus?'the duck asks again.
'That place with the big tent?'

'Yeah,' the barman replies.

'With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?' says the duck.

'Of course,' the barman replies.

'And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?' persists the duck.

'That's right!' says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . ...
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'What the hell would they want with a plasterer??!' FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my

GOD!

You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM

NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE

BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!

You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You

know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE

SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?

You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it

feels like when I'm driving.' At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

http://s3.photobucket.com/albums/y89/vrsex..._place.flv

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Ooops, bet he never expected that to happen  ______________________
2011 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8
2012 FL2 SD4 Auto HSE
2013 Kawasaki Versys 650

very good..

Do you think I'd get in trouble if I built such a trap near lets say a caravan site

Mind you the roads around us have a few such water hazards after all the recent rain,I waded thru some foot deep water today in the Fl2, A bloke coming the other way in a defender had sent his daughter ahead with a stick to test the depth,luckily for her I was a gent and didn't engulf her with a wave of water ( Mrs G wouldn't let me )

More annoyingly, I have a few acres of wheat under flood water, which will be ruined if the water doesn't go down soon,if it not ruined already  At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

ha ha - looks very funny, but not when your driving Did something similar a few years ago in a bus terminal with lots of onlookers Had to call the recovery verhicle to pull out the BMW (which was on loan) not funny at the time but I wonder what the BMW company thought when they got the recovery bill  2007 Freelander 2 HSE TD4 Manual with Premium Pack & Moonroof.
Stornoway Grey with Ebony Black Pleather, Clear Indicators, Body Side Mouldings etc.

http://www.pistonheads.co.uk/sales/694597.htm  At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

if your selling the old car CG should you have put it in the for sale section

Ideal for anybodies 17year old if they can't spell, and want to be a chav  Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Man rang the local newspaper to place an obituary for his late wife... he only had a pound so could afford just three words, so he wrote 'Margaret is dead'. The clerk felt sorry for him so gave him another three words for free

It now says 'Margaret is dead. Fiesta for sale' At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race