fresh sausage
https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/k1b...mp;end=321 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Ha ha ha !!! Love to see that! ...

Be true to yourself. That way happiness lies...

 FL2 SD4 Metropolis Auto Santorini Black / ivory completely stock.

It's true that light travels faster than sound, some people look quite intelligent until you hear them speak.


Stop global winging.

that is so our Rupert  Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Seen on the back of a caravan.

 2013 RR Evoque Pure Tech
2012 TD4 GS Auto Orkney Grey - gone

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea.

One called Justin and the other called Kristian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Kristian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn;

I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.'

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted'

Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely

All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.

Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn..

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam to Kristians home.

As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'

Kristian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'

Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'........

'I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian'

Taz,

That is even worse than my worst joke.

Bill Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Did you hear about the boy who saw a witch riding on a broomstick ?
He said, 'What are you doing on that ?'
She replied, 'My sister's got the vacuum cleaner ' Ex AA Series III LWB Safari - Gone
300TDi Disco (bought new - terrible car) sent back after 18 months
Freelander 1 Estate - leased, given back at end of lease
200TDi Disco (bought from a mate with 100,000 on the clock) - Gone
Disco 2 TD5 - sold and exported to France
FR2 TD4 GS - Gone
FR2 SD4 HSE - Now changed for a DS
New model ex-demo Evoque S 180 in white
Unable to order a new DS, so gave up. Now have a Volvo S90 Recharge.

Had to go to the doctors today as I have been thinking I am a moth. The doctor wasn't very helpful and said that I needed to see a psychiatrist not a doctor, I said I couldn't help going in as his light was on!

If you want to know who loves you more, your wife or your dog, lock them both in the boot of your car for 1 hour and see who is more happy to see you when you open the boot  LL.B (Hons) - University of Derby
LOT (Lord of Time) - University of Gallifrey

RichP wrote:

Had to go to the doctors today as I have been thinking I am a moth. The doctor wasn't very helpful and said that I needed to see a psychiatrist not a doctor, I said I couldn't help going in as his light was on!

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon: "I have some good news and, I have some bad news”.
The tycoon replies: "I’ve had an awful day, let's hear the good news first”.
The lawyer says: “Your wife invested £5,000 in two pictures today that she figures are worth a minimum of £2million”.
The tycoon replies enthusiastically: “Well done, very good news indeed! You've just made my day; now what’s the bad news?”

The lawyer answers: “The pictures are of you screwing your secretary”.


The judge says to a double-homicide defendant..."You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You barsteward!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten barsteward!"
The judge stops and says to George in the back of the courtroom.
"Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes,
but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt.
Is that understood?"
George stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that asshole, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one.





Aussie stockman and his wife had just got married and found a quiet hotel for their wedding night.
The man approached the front desk and asked for a room.
He said, 'We're on our honeymoon and we need a nice room, with a good strong bed."
The clerk winked, 'You want the 'Bridal'?'
The drover reflected on this for a moment and then replied,

"Nah, I reckon not. I'll just hold onto her ears until she gets used to it.. At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Well, made me laugh.