. FL2 SD4 Metropolis Auto Santorini Black / ivory completely stock.

It's true that light travels faster than sound, some people look quite intelligent until you hear them speak.


Stop global winging.

The seven dwarfs always left early each morning to go to work in the mine.

As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores.

As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunches and take them to the mine.

One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunches, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in.

Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived.
'Hello. Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello!'


For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again shouted,
'Hello! Is anyone down there?'
Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine,

“VOTE FOR ALEC SALMOND"

Snow White fell to her knees and prayed,
Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive! 10MY (Sept 09) TD4 HSE Auto in Stornoway Grey (Now Gone)

08 FL2 TD4 SE Manual in Rimini Red (Now Gone)

DEMOCRACY AND RACISM EXPLAINED.

An illegal immigrant kid asks his mother, "Mama, what's Democracy and what is Racism?"



"Well, son, Democracy is when British tax payers work every day so we can get all our benefits, you know like free housing, free healthcare, more welfare payments than British pensioners get, and on and on. That's Democracy".



"But mama, don't the British tax payers get off about that?"



"Sure they do, that's called Racism!" Do it now ! Your a long time dead !!

Little girl asks her father "Where does Poo come from ", father thinks , oh well , have to tell her some facts of life sometime . So he says " Well , when you eat your food , it goes into your stomach , the good parts are digested & all of the rest which you dont need comes out of your bottom when you sit on the toilet ".
The little girl looks a bit upset , & then says .
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" Well , what about TIGGER"


Bill T Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Similar style;-

Little Billy asks his dad for a television in his room.Dad reluctantly agrees.

Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, ‘Dad, what’s love juice?’

Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex.

Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement.

Dad says, ‘So what were you watchin’?’…….

Billy says, ‘Wimbledon.’

Bill T.

PS I have no connection with the person mentioned above. Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

And Another.

I've just bought a Jehovah's Witness Advent Calendar



Behind every door someone tells you to :censored: off



Bill T Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

a few posts down top man stevedave
http://thefarmingforum.co.uk/index.php?threads/fendt-roof.31451/ At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

and the 'joke' that keeps on giving 'Manchester United'

































































 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Went to see a 70's tribute band last night.
They came on wearing platform shoes, flares and colourful suicide vests, did a couple of songs and then blew themselves up.........................

They were called jihaddiwaddy.......


Bill Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

An insect just flew into my house and exploded, I think it was a jihaddy long legs...


Bill T. Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

... ...

Be true to yourself. That way happiness lies...

?

You had to be there We DID laugh!!!

And on the tube train that didn't go anywhere.  ...

Be true to yourself. That way happiness lies...

.A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.
'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's cool' said the Blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'
'Just three questions' said St Peter.
'Which are?' asked the Blonde.
'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'
The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'
So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).
The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'
'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'
The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'
St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.
'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'
The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'
'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'
'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'
St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.
A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.
Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'
'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'
'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited 'til his billy boiled.'
And the Blonde entered Heaven...

1. A survey has shown that the average man has had sex in a car 15 times. Something to
keep in mind next time you're looking for a used car.
Jay Leno

2. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby
I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to
a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him
off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Tommy Cooper

3. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I
realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner.
Lynda Montgomery

4. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens
if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright

5. I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers

6. Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is
your child as an adult saying, "I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award." The
other is, "You want fries with that?"
Robin Williams

7. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Sam Levenson

8. You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is
a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France
is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most
powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?
Chris Rock

9. By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one,
you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

10. If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the
principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis