Jokes about white sugar are rare but brown sugar ................demerara

Bill Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

(Apologies, Stolen From Disco4)


DOG FOR SALE:

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale"

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the
backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever
sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So,
what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years
running...

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to
do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch
of medals.'

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?'

'He's a Bullshitter . He's never been out of the yard'

Waiter Waiter! There's a magot in this pie!"
"No, No Sir, - it's fat!"
"Of course it's fat. It's eaten all the bloody mince"


"Waiter, Have you got frogs' legs?"
"Oui Monsieur,"
"Well, hop off and get me pie & chips"

Bill T Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

just received this in an email

February 14th is St Valentine's Day
And this year, it's ok to say
I love my partner, that's for sure
But when it comes to gifts I love me more

So why not subscribe to Farmers Weekly
And every week we'll guarantee
The latest news from our industry
Plus throw in 10 issues, completely free



they obviously dont think I value my testicles  At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

chicken george.
They are one of the few things in life that are worth far more than there weight in gold, in my case how much is 2.4 pounds of gold worth.

Tea Gardens

For all Who Work With Rude Customers, isn't it a shame WE
can't actually do this!


An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in
Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her
point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly
as cargo.
A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s
had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a
long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger
pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter
and said,
"I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS".

The attendant replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try
to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure
we'll be able to work something out.."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the
passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her
public address microphone:"May I have your attention please, may I
have your attention please,"she began - her voice heard clearly
throughout the terminal.

"We have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Desk 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the
man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "F k You!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said! (I love this bit)...

..."I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too." ...

Be true to yourself. That way happiness lies...

Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for the airport leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab.

Then, the shaking driver said, "Are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab.... I've been driving a hearse for 25 years." Steve

2008 TD4 HSE Auto, Zermatt Silver

I love that one!  John
07 HSE Narvick Black
Land Rover Series One
Triumph Rocket 111 (sadly gone!)

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Quote:

The above is CG knowledge so may be far removed from the truth

do I need new discs or just pads?

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Plenty more miles left in those...

Not seen vented discs like that before

You don't need pads - you need cogs  10MY (Sept 09) TD4 HSE Auto in Stornoway Grey (Now Gone)

08 FL2 TD4 SE Manual in Rimini Red (Now Gone)