http://www.innocentenglish.com/ FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

A blonde gets a job as a teacher.

She notices a boy in the field stood by himself while all the other kids are running around having fun - She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him

'Are you OK?' she says. 'Yes' he says.

'You can play with the other kids you know' she says. 'It's best I stay here' he says.

'Why?' says the blonde............................



The boy says 'Because I'm the bloody goalie' FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

The new XC from Volvo spy photos

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID...mp;page=61 FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

Medical tales:

An Israeli doctor said, 'Medicine in Israel is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor said, 'That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of
one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

A Russian doctor said, 'In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

The English doctor, not to be outdone, said, 'Hah!. We can take an arsehole out of Scotland, put him in 10 Downing Street and have half the country looking for work within twenty-four hours’. RRS S/C HST - named Plantagenet Palliser

**New addition** Freeloader 2 SE with all the toys

Preferred Dealer: Lancaster Reading

Disco3 - Gone
Defender 90 TD - Gone
FFRR Vogue - Gone
BMW X5 4.4 - Gone
LR Defender Tdi - Gone

nah it was me in the Aston (also fitted with sidewinders)  At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

chicken george wrote:

nah it was me in the Aston (also fitted with sidewinders)

Found this:
"It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies:

The Japanese eat relatively little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink relatively little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Italians drink generous amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and other fatty foods and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you" FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

Now this is a theory I like

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID...mp;page=85 FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

We have this joke with our own PM but I have found it also with Gordon Brown so I guess it's sort of international.

"A man was coming home from work one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked him what was wrong. The cop said, "We are in a crisis situation. Gordon Brown is in the road very upset. He does not have the £10 billion needed to fill his black hole, and everyone hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in petrol and start a fire." The man asked the police officer exactly what he was doing there." The bobby said, " I feel sorry for the Chancellor so I am going car to car asking for donations." The man asked, "How much do you have so far?" The bobby replied, "Well as of right now only 99 litres, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!" FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

Paddy met Mick in the street and said,

'Paddy, will you draw your bedroom curtains

before making love to your wife in future?'

'Why?' Paddy asked.

'Because,' said Mick, 'all the street was

Laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.'


Mick said, 'Silly , the laugh's on them.



I wasn't home yesterday.'  At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

John Cleese is currently separating from his 3rd wife. He recently attended court for an interim review prior to the final hearing. The judge ordered that Cleese had to pay $75,000 per month to his wife until the final hearing takes place. On hearing this interim judgement Cleese was heard to say “fine, cheap at twice the price”

We have a huge council house in our street. The extended family is
run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of fierce dogs. Her car isn't
taxed or insured, and doesn't even have a number plate, but the
police still do nothing.
.
.

.

Her bad tempered old man is forever upsetting foreigners with racist
comments. A shopkeeper blames him for ordering the murder of his son
and his son's girlfriend, but nothing has been proved yet.
.
.

.

All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, whom
everyone thought was gay.
.
.

.

Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always seen out in
nightclubs. The family's odd antics are always in the papers. They
are out of control.

.
.

.

Honestly - who'd live near Windsor Castle? FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

Quite funny

 FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER