At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to Audit the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said:

"I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer but on he went, in his obnoxious way:

"What about all these bread wafer purchases?" "What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufactures, and every now and then they send us a free box of bread wafers."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi.

"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office and about once a year they send us a complete prick. Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

 Maverick off disco3!
Drives white 1996 Defender 90 300TDi

R.I.P. Smudge! 24.10.08
R.I.P Hesko! 29.4.09

Four eminent international physicians meet at a conference:

The Israeli doctor says,
'Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

The German doctor says,
'That's nothing! Rolling Eyes In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

The Russian doctor says,
'In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

The English doctor, not to be outdone, says












We can take an arsehole out of Scotland, put him in 10 Downing Street and have half the country looking for work within twenty-four hours.  Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

[quote="npinks"]Four eminent international physicians meet at a conference:

The Israeli doctor says,
'Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

The German doctor says,
'That's nothing! Rolling Eyes In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'

The Russian doctor says,
'In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'

The English doctor, not to be outdone, says












We can take an arsehole out of Scotland, put him in 10 Downing Street and have half the country looking for work within twenty-four hours. [/quote
 Freelander 2 - SE
Sumatra Black - TD4 -4X4 Jack Russel in boot.

Nicked from a caravan forum I visit ...

You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them
at their wedding.


He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and
said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'

Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this
guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD

avtur wrote:

Nicked from a caravan forum I visit ...

You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them
at their wedding.


He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and
said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!'

Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this
guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD

 FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

A guy had a Jeep (NOT a FL2) and he had on his tailgate the usual 4x4. One day he find his car scrathed
4x4=16. So he goes and has his car resprayed. The next day the same thing happens so that after a couple of days he gives up and buys a nice = and a nice 16 and puts them on the car. The next day he finds the car scrathed again with "correct" FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER

TATA officials introduce a new fuel saving propulsion system to the freelander 2
 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

chicken george wrote:

TATA officials introduce a new fuel saving propulsion system to the freelander 2

CG can't you tell they are using the boot mounted compressor to top up the pressures on the horse after going offroad with it.

Whatever they are doing its fine by me as they do not have a towbar so therefore are not vaners.

Personally I think that is an airline for a spray gun and they are giving Chergar a fresh coat of disguise paint At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

TATA's new light weight car
 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Chanell From Big Brother Film - Homemade

http://www.chanellesextape.com/








Advert for MTV FURTV Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

look at this car plate:


http://videoblog.ablog.ro/2008-04-29/atent...ulare.html

NPINKS........very funny video ......... you boys get worse

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk! FREELANDER 2 TD4 SE (XS UK) IZMIR BLUE SIDE STEPS COLD PACK BI-XENON TINTED WINDOWS - AND PROUD OF HER