Me and my fiance are expecting our first baby together this year, however she lives in London and I live in Birmingham.
My partner has a child that is not mine and the father lives in London, he see's the child on a Wednesday evening and has her 1 weekend every fortnight as well as Christmas etc..
My partner does not work and neither does the father of her first child. He pays nothing towards the child as he is on benefits and has children with another woman.
I have my own small business up here and we would like to live up here together as a family and I will support them financially, my question is can the father of her first child stop her from moving up here with their child or make it difficult for us ? When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

I'm sure there might be some legal rule of what can/can't be done, I'm sure it's happened before, but sure it's been prevented too

I really hope it can be sorted out for you both though, but I think she Should take legal advice to find out her options and then speak to him Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

I can't help here i'm afraid. Family law was an option module that I skipped in favour of medical law. In my opinion, the solicitors for both sides would look at the best interests of the child. Considering impact on education as well as family issues and best living arrangements. Also, the issue of travel for the child between the parents.

Try to seek advice of a solicitor who specialises in that area of law. Google is your friend  LL.B (Hons) - University of Derby
LOT (Lord of Time) - University of Gallifrey

thanks guys its a difficult one as my child would be in the same situation When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

Would all three adults be amenable to sitting down and discussing it to see if there is a mutual agreement first before resorting to the legal bills?

Is the fathers name on the childs birth certificate?

i would hope so and yes he is, ive got no problem meeting him halfway although i feel annoyed as its me whose paying for the child when he doesn't contribute anything When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

Whatever you do, do nothing underhand and be completely open and honest on this and remember, irrespective of whether he pays support or not, he has rights as the father and because the relationship did not work out does not make him a lesser person.

Put it in writing to him of your fiancé's intention thus giving him the option to oppose it in good time, a legal decision will then be made on what's best for the child's future. Visiting may be more infrequent but for longer because of the distance involved, then again not knowing him he may not be too bothered.

Just be open about it as it could come back and bite you. Pop into the Citizens Advice Bureau for no cost preliminary advice.

I think legally you may be against it here unfortunately.

Is it a legal agreement that he sees the child on certain days? If you can guarantee that he won't lose out (although as he doesn't pay a thing you could argue how much time he sees them at a later date) then I don't see why there should be a problem? Short of him being arsey about it ? (I'm sure the state will pay for him to collect his child if he's on benefits?) Mine: 2012 Golf GTI Edition 35
Family's: 2009 Freelander 2 HSE TD4 Auto, Stornoway

Yorkshire - God's County

I think a few thing come into this

The child, does the child want to keep in contact, if his too young to make the choice then, it should be a yes

The dad, does he want to see his son, or is it another burden on him and his current family (sounds a little harsh)

Will your partner moving effect her benefits on which she can claim, for her self and her siblings (moving into a household with a income)

Taking on any partner with a child, whether they receive maintenance or not will increase your outgoings, and if its going to work out you have to lose the I'm paying for his son way of thinking, for the sake of your relationship with her.

If it comes to it, can you relocate?

Do you see his son as part of your family? If his not bothered would you consider adopting his son to make him part of your family (maybe a little premature to think this) Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

its a girl but yes i would pay for her regardless i love her like my own. I want to get her off benefits anyway as i despise that way of living the child is 9 and would like to move up here. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

That's a good thing if she wants to come live up north as I assume social services would take that in to account  Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

nicer schools up here in sutton than in london When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

richardk wrote:

Would all three adults be amenable to sitting down and discussing it to see if there is a mutual agreement first before resorting to the legal bills?

Just think about what is in the best interest for the little girl, and not other parties. I'm sure there will be a compromise to be had given you're moving away from the father. The father will have to be informed and he will have some input as to whether he wants his child to be moved away. I mean how would you feel if it was your child that was being taken away? Which means further travel, time and costs which the father doesn't have because of benefits. If he is a dead beat dad he still has rights and they have to be respected.
The child's welfare is the most important aspect of this dilemma and her right to see both parents as per the family law court decision if there was one.
Yes the father can make it difficult for you, but I should imagine the family law court (if it comes to that) would look in your wife's favor given she is trying to better her life and her children's lives.