Just seen a dyslexic farmer wearing a cat flap. Gone, 2007 TD4 SE Auto Baltic blue, clear side repeaters, full sized alloy spare.

English by birth..... Yorkshire by the grace of God.

MY NEW PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIAN





Love this Doctor!
<ATT00001>
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Jack Danniels in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Wholly , what a ride!!"

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English badly is apparently what kills you.

RJS wrote:

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English badly is apparently what kills you.

I'm a Geordie thats me f d then

Ghyllie oo! Shiney!
____________________________________________
55 Nissan Navara SE Black - My Toy.
08 Freelander 2 XS Santorini Black - Her Majesty's Toy.

Nice day for a bike ride

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2012/03/09/the-we...bike-seat/

Ghyllie wrote:

RJS wrote:

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English badly is apparently what kills you.

I'm a Geordie thats me f d then [this statement was sponsored by 'Sports Direct']

Ghyllie

 2002 Honda VFR800
2002 Toyota Celica 140 Silver (mid life crisis - again!)
2007 FL2 GS Manual Army Reconnaissance Green + freel2.com sticker
2004 Toyota Celica 140 Black - Gone
2000 Toyota Celica 140 Silver - Gone
1998 Toyota Celica ST Pearl Green - Gone
1996 Nissan Primera 1.6 - Gone
1994 Rover Montego 1.6 Auto - Gone

Bar's fun....

Art and precision...
Probably he first drank them for a more relaxed posture...

Two tourists were driving through Wales As they were approaching
Llanfairpwllgwyngyll, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's
name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they
stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we
order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please
pronounce where we are... very slowly?
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr,
Kiiiing." At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

And a nice recovery......

I tried walkers mystery flavour crisps, decided they tasted like my ex wifes nipple, I wasnt sure at first but everyone in the pub says the same! At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Many aspects of human sexuality are puzzling. Take  celibacy, for example.
This can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed   by environmental factors. While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Tony and Julie listened to the instructor declare, 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.' He addressed the men. 'Can you each name and  describe your wife's favourite flower?' Tony leaned over, touched Julie's arm gently and   whispered,
'Self-raising, isn't it?'

Thus began Tony's life of celibacy.

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Lancashire scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, a Cumbrian archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the Windermere Times : "Cumbrian archaeologists, finding traces of 130-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 30 years earlier than Lancashire ".

One week later, the Yorkshire Post reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in Pickering , North Yorkshire , Amos Thwaite, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely sod all. Amos has therefore concluded that 150 years ago, Yorkshire had already gone wireless."

It makes you bloody proud to be from Yorkshire.........

Yorkshire gone wireless, Mcp, you still have one of these

oooooolovley can you get the light programme on that?