I just had to share this!!

New Starbucks Limited Edition Coffee - ''The Bin Latte''....It's a middle-eastern blend, dark bodied, frothy head with two shots in it

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was.... where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy b d and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."

Client of mine was addicted to drinking brake fluid oil, but he said he could stop anytime.

Realspeed Ex 2010 Freelander2 GS-e Diesel manual Silver owner

Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent show, a spokesman said ''We'll striggle to find someone of the same calibre''

Just been to the gym, they've got a new machine in. Only used it once and I'm feeling sick, it's great though it does everything - Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers, Crisps - the lot.

I thought my wife would be the ideal candidate for a new TV show. Turns out I got it all wrong and the programme's called 'Fact Hunt'

40 gypsies arrive at heavens gates to be greeted by st peter,

st peter says only 12 of you can come in so decide which of you it is to be?

half an hour later st peter goes to god and says they've gone!!

god replies what all 40 of those pikies?








st peter replies no god "the gates"

 Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

npinks wrote:

40 gypsies arrive at heavens gates to be greeted by st peter,

st peter says only 12 of you can come in so decide which of you it is to be?

half an hour later st peter goes to god and says they've gone!!

god replies what all 40 of those pikies?

st peter replies no god "the gates"

But they've left a very nice tarmac driveway  2002 Honda VFR800
2002 Toyota Celica 140 Silver (mid life crisis - again!)
2007 FL2 GS Manual Army Reconnaissance Green + freel2.com sticker
2004 Toyota Celica 140 Black - Gone
2000 Toyota Celica 140 Silver - Gone
1998 Toyota Celica ST Pearl Green - Gone
1996 Nissan Primera 1.6 - Gone
1994 Rover Montego 1.6 Auto - Gone

Take into consideration that the country from where they've originally migrated off is now owning Land Rover... So beware of the gypsies' curses...

and they have all leant irish accents too  Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

I Owe My Mother
**************************************
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry a bout."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

14.. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until your Father gets home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.&n bsp;
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father.."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !" Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Alan .... Alan ...... al ....... Alan...... Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Lovers....

0:30 onwards

&feature=youtube_gdata_player Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Yes(s) and no(s) of daily driving...