Sucking evolution...

Who wants to learn English?....

1. English for beginners:
... Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watches which Swatch watch?

2. English for intermediate:
... Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watches which Swatch watch switch?

3. English for experts:
... Three swiss witch-bitches, who wish to be switched swiss witch-bitches, wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch who wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss Swatch watch switch?

alex_pescaru wrote:

Who wants to learn English?....

1. English for beginners:
... Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watches which Swatch watch?

2. English for intermediate:
... Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watches which Swatch watch switch?

3. English for experts:
... Three swiss witch-bitches, who wish to be switched swiss witch-bitches, wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch who wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss Swatch watch switch?

Nicht so einfach!! The last one is a touge twister and a half!! Good fun though  "I'm on the road to nowhere"

Are you insured for sex?

Make sure you get the correct insurance for the sex you are having.

Please find a list of companies below catering for most tastes.

Sex with your wife  -  Legal and General

Sex on the telephone  -   Direct Line

Sex with your partner  -   Standard Life

Sex with someone different  -   Go compare

Sex with a fat bird  -  More Than

Sex on the back seat of a car -  Sheila's Wheels

Sex with a posh bird  -   Privileged

 Sex with a transvestite  -   Confused.com

I'm insured by Bumlove & Co Ltd

A friend of mine just told me about a letter he received from ScrewFix this morning.

It tells him that they can't be of assistance as they aren't a dating agency...  2002 Honda VFR800
2002 Toyota Celica 140 Silver (mid life crisis - again!)
2007 FL2 GS Manual Army Reconnaissance Green + freel2.com sticker
2004 Toyota Celica 140 Black - Gone
2000 Toyota Celica 140 Silver - Gone
1998 Toyota Celica ST Pearl Green - Gone
1996 Nissan Primera 1.6 - Gone
1994 Rover Montego 1.6 Auto - Gone

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=klaatu...feature=iv At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

WHAT CONFUCIUS DIDN'T SAY


Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Better to be off than on.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets
exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left..

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Finally CONFUCIUS SAY. . ...

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

They say that the way to a perfect cup of tea is to agitate the bag.I turned to the wife this morning and said''Hey fat arse,put the kettle on!''

I met a beautiful woman by the side of a lake . There was an instant Spark between us and she fell at my feet. As we lay together making passionate love,I thought to myself...... these tazers are well worth the money. At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

To be good?!
As a child I saw Tarzan walking naked. Cinderella came home at midnight. Pinocchio said lies. Aladdin was a thief. Batman was going 200 miles per hour. Snow White lived with seven men. Popeye smoke and was tattooed. Pacman run in a dark room with electronic music and eating pills that were making him shake.
Too late! It's not my fault, it's my childhood fault...

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Australian
scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and
came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone
network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Aussies, in the weeks that followed, an
American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet and, shortly after,
a story was published in the New York Times: "American
archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have
concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech
communications network 50 years earlier than the Australians".

One week later, the Council in Essex , reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Colchester, Jack Lucknow, a
self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely
all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had
already gone wireless." Another member of the failed FL2 clutch/DMF club, twice.

I don't know if it's funny or stupid or both.....

Quote:

alex_pescaru wrote
I don't know if it's funny or stupid or both.....

Both

alex_pescaru wrote:

I don't know if it's funny or stupid or both.....

alex_pescaru wrote:

I don't know if it's funny or stupid or both.....