Some very sad news i'm afraid.....
The bloke who owned the Odeon Cinema's has died, his funeral is on Friday @2:10, 4:20, 5:50, 6:40 and 7:30

At last, somebody else posted other jokes...
Let's hope is only the beginning. I've started to think that you're all a bunch of grumpy old guys...
Let's smile a little. In the end today is the first day of the rest of your life, isn't it?

And here is another one:

Two elderly at the asylum:
-When I was young my dick used to be so hard that I couldn't even bend it with both hands!
-And now?
-Now I have become more powerful!

Ultimate head

&feature=youtube_gdata_player Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

npinks wrote:

Ultimate head

&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Talk about One Step forward Two Steps Back

The perfect husband is one who, when he founds his wife in the bedroom with her lover, says:
- Do not bother, continue!
The perfect lover is the one who can continue ...

Two Polish hunters from Cleveland hired a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged four.
As they started loading the plane for the return trip home, the pilot tells them the plane can take only two moose.
The two Poles objected strongly, stating, "Last year we shot four moose, and the pilot let us put them all on board, and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all four were loaded..
Unfortunately, even at full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and crashed a few minutes after takeoff.
Climbing out of the wreck, Stanislaw asked Wladek, "Any idea where we are?"
Wladek replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

nice one..

A polish friend told me the same joke but he told me it was Romanians  

Ooups... Then four planes were lost in the process...
In this rythm they might run out of planes really quick...

Police in Newcastle just announced the discovery of an arms cache of 2,000 semi automatic rifles with 250,000 rounds of ammunition,
10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, 20 tonnes of heroin $50 million in forged Euro banknotes and 25 trafficked Thai prostitutes
all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library in Byker. Local residents were stunned.




A community elder said,





"Wa shocked man. Wi didn't knaa wi had a library!! Laughing Laughing
_________________
1995 2.8 LWB Blue over Silver (currently poorly sick) Life Honorary Member of Wallasey Motor Club.
Licenced MSA Radio Operator for 35+ years.
Rallying is the only sport.

Another way of seeing things....

A human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information.
A spermatozoon contains 37.5 MB of genetic information.
In a milliliter of semen there are 100 million spermatozoons.
On average, during an ejaculation is released 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
So - logically - dick's bandwidth is (37.5MB x 100M x 2.25) / 5 = 1,687,500,000,000,000 = 1687.5 terabytes/s.
It is also the most inefficient way of using a communication medium.
You make a broadcast with 1687.5 TB/s with the same set of information (huge redundancy!) with the hope that 37.5 MB of information MAYBE will reach the destination.
In addition, there is a huge latency because you receive your ACK (acknowledge) in about two months and the response to your request is received after nine months.
And mostly it's just spam!
This explains why people say that: "My connection to the internet is working like a dick!"...

npinks wrote:

Ultimate head

&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Now I know why it always seemed to take longer to get home after a night out.

I went to the doctor while I was on holiday in Bangkok recently, to get my testicles checked out. While the doc was cupping my dangly bits, she said, "Don't worry, it's normal to get an erection during this kind of examination."
I said, "I haven't got an erection!"
She replied, "No, but I have!" ______________________
2011 Full Fat RR 4.4 TDV8
2012 FL2 SD4 Auto HSE
2013 Kawasaki Versys 650