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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black
an alternative use for sheep

&feature=channel_page Shocked At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #39028 19th Mar 2009 9:36 am
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snappa



Member Since: 16 Apr 2008
Location: Watching C-beams near the Tanhauser Gate
Posts: 1633

Scotland 2013 Freelander 2 TD4 GS Manual Buckingham Blue

Damn that just makes them even more attractive Shocked

Post #39029 19th Mar 2009 10:01 am
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Dougden



Member Since: 10 May 2008
Location: N W Kent
Posts: 288

England 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

Farmers - Way too much time on their hands Rolling Eyes

Very entertaining though. FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

Post #39043 19th Mar 2009 12:50 pm
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christian138



Member Since: 31 Jul 2008
Location: Peterborough
Posts: 946

England 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Manual Sumatra Black

 

Post #39053 19th Mar 2009 5:08 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

At last the Queen has had enough and is going round to sort Gordon out

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #39117 20th Mar 2009 6:45 pm
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Dougden



Member Since: 10 May 2008
Location: N W Kent
Posts: 288

England 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black
Terry

A woman walks into the Liverpool benefits office, trailed by 15 kids...

'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?

'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, 'Sit down Terry.' All the children rush to find seats.

'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.'

'This one's my oldest - he is Terry.'

'OK, and who's next?'

'Well, this one he is Terry, also.'

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry.

Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri.

'All right,' says the caseworker. 'I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?'

Their Mother replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Terry!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Terry!' an' they all come runnin.' An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Terry' and all of them stop.

It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Terry.'

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'


'Ahh, well then I call them by their surnames' FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

Post #39351 25th Mar 2009 10:05 am
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

Tata F1 car nearly ready
 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #39584 28th Mar 2009 7:54 am
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

I've removed the www link in my profile as the wanton destruction may have offended vaners Thumbs Up At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #39637 29th Mar 2009 7:14 am
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AndyC



Member Since: 30 Nov 2007
Location: Where the snow dosen't melt when the sun is shining!
Posts: 4165

Norway 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Manual Stornoway Grey

chicken george wrote:
I've removed the www link in my profile as the wanton destruction may have offended vaners Thumbs Up


Why not remove the rest and to save offending the others Rolling with laughter 2007 Freelander 2 HSE TD4 Manual with Premium Pack & Moonroof.
Stornoway Grey with Ebony Black Pleather, Clear Indicators, Body Side Mouldings etc.

Post #39656 29th Mar 2009 8:28 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

I overtook a black RRS towing a Censored van today. I dont know what hi gloss polish the guy used on his RRS but it was so stupidly shiney that it looked terrible Rolling Eyes ....must have been bored on his vaning holiday and kept polishing the car as an excuse not to empty the portapotty ?

Another RRS under-took me doing about 80 on the short link road between the M1 and M62 , then messed up his entrance to the M62 so had to overtake me again Rolling Eyes At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #39658 29th Mar 2009 8:41 pm
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AndyC



Member Since: 30 Nov 2007
Location: Where the snow dosen't melt when the sun is shining!
Posts: 4165

Norway 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Manual Stornoway Grey

chicken george wrote:
I overtook a black RRS towing a Censored van today. I dont know what hi gloss polish the guy used on his RRS but it was so stupidly shiney black that it looked terrible Rolling Eyes ....must have been bored on his vaning holiday and kept polishing the car as an excuse not to empty the portapotty ?



Never thought I would hear that from CG Shocked 2007 Freelander 2 HSE TD4 Manual with Premium Pack & Moonroof.
Stornoway Grey with Ebony Black Pleather, Clear Indicators, Body Side Mouldings etc.

Post #39662 30th Mar 2009 5:48 am
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

It was shiney like a the shine on argos furniture, At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #39667 30th Mar 2009 7:21 am
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Dougden



Member Since: 10 May 2008
Location: N W Kent
Posts: 288

England 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black
At The Vets

A woman brought a very limp ham Spaniel to the veterinarian. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the dog's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. The dog is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the dog's owner looked on in amazement, the Labrador stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead ham from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet petted the Labrador Retriever, took him out of the room, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the limp ham from head to tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook his head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, your dog is most definitely, 100% certifiably, dead."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The dog's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£250!" she cried. "£250 just to tell me my dog is dead?!!

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up." FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

Post #40364 12th Apr 2009 7:54 pm
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shilen



Member Since: 29 Feb 2008
Location: In the Middle
Posts: 1774

United Kingdom 2011 Freelander 2 SD4 HSE Auto Bali Blue

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Now - 2017 BMW X3 M Sport Carbon Black
Gone - 2014 BMW X3 M Sport Space Grey, faultless!
Gone - 2011 Freelander 2 SD4 HSE Bali Blue with xenons
Gone - 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Rimini Red with bodykit

Post #40668 17th Apr 2009 3:54 pm
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Dougden



Member Since: 10 May 2008
Location: N W Kent
Posts: 288

England 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black
Test Your Brain

ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST

Count every " F " in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...




HOW MANY ?













WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- READ IT AGAIN!

Really, go back and try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.


The reasoning behind is further down.








The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!

Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go has done very well.
Three is normal, four is quite rare......... FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

Post #40710 18th Apr 2009 9:24 pm
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