Obviously a spin off from DSS pamphlets and aimed at your more affluent ABC Chav's who can afford to employ someone to read it to them.

Presumably the rest learn by repetition and mimicry?

This is unbelievable, but true!

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following employee statistics .

29 have been accused of spouse abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

9 have been accused of writing bad cheque's

17 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year

Which organisation is this ?

It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us inline.

What a bunch of we have running our country - it says it all. And just to top all that they probably have the best 'corporate' pension scheme in the country!! FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year

Thats a total disgrace ... load of pi55 heads  Stornoway Grey GS ... What a fine motor ... but not any more ... ... psst look at my gallery!
Company cars ... a thing of the past - May 2013.

Sad but True
This is unbelievable, but true!

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following employee statistics .

How many were Land Rover owners  2007 Freelander 2 HSE TD4 Manual with Premium Pack & Moonroof.
Stornoway Grey with Ebony Black Pleather, Clear Indicators, Body Side Mouldings etc.

"How many were Land Rover owners?"

Sorry when I was asking all those MP'S to fill in my questionaire, I left that one off!!!

I'll go back  FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

Great - would be interesting  2007 Freelander 2 HSE TD4 Manual with Premium Pack & Moonroof.
Stornoway Grey with Ebony Black Pleather, Clear Indicators, Body Side Mouldings etc.

Apparently there are 19 Bars & Restaurants in the Palace of Westminster, all open whilst the House is sitting, and a good handful are 24 hour.

There would be more arrests but for the fact that those potential offenders don't bother to ever leave such a cosy spot.

A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but I'm afraid you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything seems to be OK, but there is a bit of bad news and I'm going to break it to you as gently as I can. Your Willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'
The bloke groans a bit (as you do) but the doctor goes on, 'We've checked your insurance and you've actually got up to £9,000 compensation coming to you and the good news is that we have the technology now to build you a new Willy that will work just as well as your old one, better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It is one thousand pounds an inch.'

The bloke perks up a bit at this (as you would.) 'So it's a simple decision,' the doctor says, 'you need to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch Willy before and you decide to go for a nine inch Willy now, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inches before and you decide only to invest in a five inches now, she might be a bit disappointed. So it's important that you consult with her to help you make the decision.'

So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day. 'So' he says, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have.' says the chap.

'And has she helped you to make the decision?'

'Yes, she has' he says.

'And what is the decision?' asks the doctor.

'We're having a new kitchen............' FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

The first commercial electric car seen on British motorways.

From the write up "Mr Murphy, who lives in Shoreham with his daughter Karen Edie, drove TRACTORS during the war and has had a driving licence all his adult life"

Is this CG in disguise? FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

I drove a tractor during the great colour war (on here 2008) (by the way black won the colour war ) At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

In Memoriam

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting upon the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93..
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in.................And then the trouble started. FL2 TD4 XS Santorini

chicken george wrote:

I drove a tractor during the great colour war (on here 2008) (by the way black won the colour war )

A class of five-year old schoolchildren return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time.

The teacher says to the first child 'hello Becky, what have you been doing
this playtime?'

Becky replies ' I have been playing in the sand box'

'Very good' says the teacher 'if you can spell "sand" on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit'

Becky duly goes and writes 's a n d' on the blackboard.

'Very good' says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit.

The teacher then says 'Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?'

Freddie replies 'playing with Becky in the sand box'

'Very good' says the teacher.. 'If you can spell "box" on the blackboard, I will also give you a biscuit'

Freddie duly goes and writes 'b o x' on the blackboard.

'Very good' says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit.

Teacher then says 'Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?'

'No' replies Mohammed, 'I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing sand at me, calling me nasty names and asking to see under my jacket in case I had explosives'

'Oh dear' says the teacher. 'That sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me.

I tell you what, if you can spell "blatant racial discrimination" I will give you a biscuit ' FL2 TD4 XS Santorini