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Landiroamer



Member Since: 30 Apr 2015
Location: Devon
Posts: 1185

United Kingdom 2015 Freelander 2 TD4_e SE Manual Orkney Grey

Reminds me of the time I did some work up in Lancashire many years ago, it was a red hot day during the summer and we were sweltering and sweating like mad, the lad I was with said what was needed was a cork.

Cork? I said, thinking he was going to say something rude like stick it in a suitable orifice to stop the sweat running out.

And what are we going to do with a cork I said?

No not a cork he said, A Cork!!

A Corker Cola. Rolling with laughter

Post #294025 18th Mar 2016 2:08 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

not humour but different

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #294846 28th Mar 2016 10:13 am
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Dartman the one



Member Since: 04 Apr 2013
Location: Seville, Spain
Posts: 1687

England 

It has a touch of Photoshop about it Rolling Eyes my PC is slightly to the right of Genghis
2012 HSE SD4 In Orkney Grey now gone, best car ever.

Post #294857 28th Mar 2016 12:47 pm
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Navigator



Member Since: 29 Dec 2010
Location: Within reach of the coffee machine
Posts: 492

Scotland 

The message is still the same though. Everyone can spread it - Anyone can catch it. Stay home - the life you save can be your own!

Post #294912 29th Mar 2016 8:31 am
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Landiroamer



Member Since: 30 Apr 2015
Location: Devon
Posts: 1185

United Kingdom 2015 Freelander 2 TD4_e SE Manual Orkney Grey

Researcher in town centre asking members of the public about their smoking habits:

Excuse me madam, we are doing some research on peoples smoking habits, do you mind if I ask you a question?

Woman:
Of course not go ahead.

Researcher:
Can I ask if you smoke after youve had sex?

Woman:
Hmmm! I cant say Ive ever looked.

Post #295265 2nd Apr 2016 10:43 am
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taztastic



Member Since: 03 Feb 2011
Location: North West
Posts: 8652

England 

Post #295744 7th Apr 2016 2:35 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

not humorous as such
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-35984537 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #295770 7th Apr 2016 7:22 pm
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Navigator



Member Since: 29 Dec 2010
Location: Within reach of the coffee machine
Posts: 492

Scotland 

Well, he cured the log problem AND managed to get all of the rig through the gap between the two parked vehicles! Everyone can spread it - Anyone can catch it. Stay home - the life you save can be your own!

Post #295771 7th Apr 2016 7:37 pm
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npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 

Struth Shocked

Hope the car on the other side was as lucky Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Post #295772 7th Apr 2016 7:38 pm
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taztastic



Member Since: 03 Feb 2011
Location: North West
Posts: 8652

England 

Post #295792 7th Apr 2016 9:28 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #296410 15th Apr 2016 3:58 pm
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Tea Gardens



Member Since: 16 Feb 2013
Location: Sydney
Posts: 67

Australia 2013 Freelander 2 TD4 S Auto Indus Silver
Little Johnny again

Johnny's teacher is giving a lesson on Nutrition, and she
decides to ask her students what they had for Breakfast.
To add a Spelling Component, she asks the students to also spell
their answers.
Susan puts up her hand and says she had an Egg, 'E-G-G'
'Very good', says the teacher.
Peter says he had Toast, 'T-O-A-S-T?
'Excellent.'
Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him:
'I had Censored All', he says, ' B-U-G-G-E-R-A-L-L'.


The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for his rude answer
Later when the lesson turns to Geography, she asks the students some
rudimentary questions.
Susan correctly identifies the Capital of Canada. Peter is able to tell her
which ocean is off Canada's East Coast.


When it's Johnny's turn, the teacher remembers his rude answer from the
Nutrition Lesson, and decides to give him a very difficult question:
Johnny, she asks, 'Where is the Pakistani Border?'
Johnny ponders the question and finally says, "The Pakistani border is in
bed with my mother.


That's why I got Censored All for Breakfast."

Post #296446 16th Apr 2016 6:24 am
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

Tesco trialling LR sat nav software


 At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #297382 26th Apr 2016 4:48 pm
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taztastic



Member Since: 03 Feb 2011
Location: North West
Posts: 8652

England 

Post #297385 26th Apr 2016 6:34 pm
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chicken george



Member Since: 05 Dec 2007
Location: N. Yorks
Posts: 13289

United Kingdom 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 XS Manual Santorini Black

https://www.facebook.com/crazy.horse.liann...142415632/ At work
At home

"I can't always believe facts I read on the web" - Charles Dickens

winner by default of the tractor vs caravan race

Post #298237 6th May 2016 10:06 pm
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