Forum-Gallery-Shop-Sponsors

« Advertise on Freel2.com

Home > Off Topic > Forum humour !!! (Some Jokes May Offend)
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 45 of 143 <123 ... 444546 ... 141142143>
Print this entire topic · 
mcphersonstrut



Member Since: 21 Jul 2009
Location: In the land of 2 wheel drive and 60mpg
Posts: 2164

England 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Auto Stornoway Grey

George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying....
''I'm often left abandoned and lying on my side with a badly damaged bottom after a nights cruising'' Laughing

Post #128251 20th Jan 2012 3:05 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
iain cooper



Member Since: 27 Aug 2007
Location: north of Glasgow
Posts: 1989

Scotland 2009 Freelander 2 TD4_e HSE Manual Lago Grey

mcphersonstrut wrote:
George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying....
''I'm often left abandoned and lying on my side with a badly damaged bottom after a nights cruising'' Laughing



Laughing Laughing

Iain

Post #128253 20th Jan 2012 3:06 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
mcphersonstrut



Member Since: 21 Jul 2009
Location: In the land of 2 wheel drive and 60mpg
Posts: 2164

England 2008 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Auto Stornoway Grey

I'm appalled by all these sick jokes I've been reading lately about that terrible costa cuise ship....I'll tell you something, I won't be sinking to that level.

Post #128254 20th Jan 2012 3:07 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
dunroof



Member Since: 24 Nov 2010
Location: <> Yes, still being stalked by another member!
Posts: 1785

Thumbs Up

Last edited by dunroof on 14th Feb 2013 8:19 pm. Edited 1 time in total

Post #128257 20th Jan 2012 3:38 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ad210358



Member Since: 12 Oct 2008
Location: Here and There
Posts: 7464

England 

Dunroof, Before anyone else says it, your such a happy soul

Post #128281 20th Jan 2012 5:26 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
ad210358



Member Since: 12 Oct 2008
Location: Here and There
Posts: 7464

England 

A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw
herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are
off to Australia tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take
care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

 
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Australia, the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but
comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He
brings me food and I get a free trip to Australia."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing
me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain.
.
"This is the Isle of Wight Ferry."
================================
 

Post #128282 20th Jan 2012 5:37 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 

Laughing

Post #128283 20th Jan 2012 5:47 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
dunroof



Member Since: 24 Nov 2010
Location: <> Yes, still being stalked by another member!
Posts: 1785

Thumbs Up

Last edited by dunroof on 14th Feb 2013 8:19 pm. Edited 1 time in total

Post #128296 20th Jan 2012 6:44 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
dunkley201



Member Since: 09 Jul 2011
Location: Lincolnshire
Posts: 2739

United Kingdom 2010 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Auto Stornoway Grey

dunroof wrote:
ad210358 wrote:
Dunroof, Before anyone else says it, your such a happy soul


Did you know a 5 year old girl is still missing? Her mother is begging the authorities not to abandon the search. A sobering thourght.


Dunroof, we all feel for those parents and everyone else who has been injured or have loved ones missing. Sincerely, we do. However, from our comfortable homes so far away we can do nothing about it. We can only get on with life the best way we know how. Part of that traditionally is to resort to humour - it may seem misplaced to some, but it is a British way of living through tough times. One of the biggest laughs our family had a few years back was at the graveside at the funeral of my brother in law. We all remember it, knowing he would have been laughing too. The humour was not disrespectful, it touched all our hearts at the time it was needed. 10MY (Sept 09) TD4 HSE Auto in Stornoway Grey (Now Gone)

08 FL2 TD4 SE Manual in Rimini Red (Now Gone)

Post #128309 20th Jan 2012 7:24 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
dunroof



Member Since: 24 Nov 2010
Location: <> Yes, still being stalked by another member!
Posts: 1785

Thumbs Up

Last edited by dunroof on 14th Feb 2013 8:21 pm. Edited 1 time in total

Post #128312 20th Jan 2012 7:42 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 

I don't think anyone would wish anyone to be missing, whether they a 5 or 55, I think dunkley sums it up quite well Thumbs Up

Post #128321 20th Jan 2012 8:01 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 

1. Stare at the red dot on the girl’s nose for 30 seconds...
2. Turn your eyes towards the wall/ceiling or somewhere else on a plain surface
3. Keep blinking your eyes quickly!
4. What can you see?

Click image to enlarge


hope the image works as its via facebook Thumbs Up Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Post #128915 24th Jan 2012 4:11 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
taztastic



Member Since: 03 Feb 2011
Location: North West
Posts: 8652

England 

Got to 12 seconds and the wife walked in......Ouch, pressing ctrl + and staring at the full size image a foot from the screen...Pinky you owe me now Laughing

Cool effect though Thumbs Up

Post #128918 24th Jan 2012 4:15 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
JST



Member Since: 01 Nov 2011
Location: Lizant
Posts: 1098

France 2007 Freelander 2 TD4 HSE Manual Narvik Black

That's weird! Clever thing the human brain. John
07 HSE Narvick Black
Land Rover Series One
Triumph Rocket 111 (sadly gone!)

Post #128919 24th Jan 2012 4:18 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
npinks



Member Since: 28 Jun 2007
Location: Ls25
Posts: 20090

United Kingdom 

it is a strange one, i had difficulty starring at her nose for so long Whistle Former Mod/Member, with the most post & Chicken George Arch nemesis

Post #128922 24th Jan 2012 4:41 pm
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Post Reply  Back to top
Page 45 of 143 <123 ... 444546 ... 141142143>
All times are GMT

Jump to  
Previous Topic | Next Topic >
Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



Site Copyright © 2006-2024 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
Freel2.com RSS Feed - All Forums


Switch to Mobile site