Parking up at the Manchester Airport before disappearing for three weeks, I thought I was being very clever parking in a quiet corner on the top floor. Reversing in, did not want anybody hitting the car. Fussing over this simple procedure and tight for time I forgot the in-car camera was left in park mode!
Whilst climbing to 39000 feet I remembered! Also remembered the only way into the car with a flat battery was via the passenger door, which was tight up against the wall!
The trip to Home Depot, a store very similar to B & Q in the states, proved amusing to the staff there, and I soon had three or four of them sorting out something to get at the bonnet catch through a very narrow opening.
Duct Tape, a small extending pole and a large wall hook was purchased.
Need not have worried, doors opened on our return, but that was as far as it went. Even putting the key fob under steering wheel did nothing.
Landrover Assist were there within 30 minutes, top class service at 6pm. He smiled and said 'your not the first' and that he carries a special tool to get in through narrow openings.
The point about this tale is that Land Rover have listened to reports similar to this and have designed future new cars so access can be achieved from either side of the vehicle.
The Land Rover technician soon had us on our way, just a pity he could do nothing for me! One Discovery, gone
Now on third Freelander 2
2013 HSE Auto Orkney Grey

Good news for the new cars, and unlucky on your experience. Thanks for the update!  Never tell me the odds.

Plug the cam into a Power Magic and it'll switch the cam off when the battery voltage gets low. 
Hung like Einstein, smart as a horse.